Alright, we're stumped. Can somebody please tell us what it is about London's Dorchester that makes every celeb that walks through its doors have some sort of meltdown? Is it just too posh?
Allow us to refresh your memory.
First, Uma Thurman and Daryl Hannah had some offscreen tension when they stayed at the D while filming Kill Bill Vol. 2. No big deal.
Then, the Pitts (as in Brad and Jen) called it quits within the Dorchester's walls.
Then Michael Jacksondressed up as Mickey Mouse while he was staying there, Barbra Streisandrefused to talk to staffers during her stay, Michael Madsen made some sort of a big mess and hurt himself, and then Oprah walked barefoot on the pavement.
And now Christian Bale has joined the not-so-exclusive club of celebs who have had some sort of incident at the D.
Oprah Winfrey, the queen of our afternoons (and owner of our souls), was all dressed up and looking radiant at a London fundraiser for Nelson Mandela last night.
And then, in a stunning display of normal-ness, she took off her designer heels because her feet were killing her. We do that too!
We were so busy relating to her that we almost forgot she was Oprah for a second there -- until we learned that she was on her way back to her suite at the Dorchester London and, uh, some of their suites can go for over $5,000 per night.
A couple of years back, London's Dorchester Hotel was the place to be seen--celebs galore trooped through the door and we even think that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston split up there. But more recently it was the calling point for the UK Times newspaper's mystery guest, Cath Urquhart, who was surprisingly none too impressed with somewhere that was, after all, good enough for Jennifer.
Where did it go wrong for non-celebrity Cath? Prices are obviously a problem for anyone with a grip on reality. The raspberries that were served with her muesli at breakfast cost an additional £12.50 ($25) and use of the internet, a whopping £18.50 ($37) a day. It got worse when the room across from hers held a loud party until 3am, and sleep proved elusive. What's good at the Dorchester (apart from celeb-spotting opportunities)? Pretty good service, the rooms are comfortable (if not exactly stylishly exotic), and the food tastes good.
According to extremely credible sources (read: a couple of web sites), Michael Jackson, who is now in residence at London's Dorchester Hotel, scared the hell out of a chambermaid when he answered the door dressed in a giant Mickey Mouse costume.
An insider said: "The chambermaid went to collect Michael's laundry, but thought she'd got the wrong room when Michael answered the door."
"Michael has the same highpitched voice as the cartoon mouse so she concluded he was a children's entertainer."
They continued to the Daily Star: "He was thrilled by her reaction, but finally revealed himself and introduced her to his kids - dressed as Tinkerbell, Peter Pan and Hook."
Jacko then proceeded to trash his room - by having a jelly and ice cream food fight with his kids, telling the chambermaid: "We're playing a new game where we can't take our masks off."
Apparently Jacko didn't get the message that Mickey is not a licensed masseuse.
Looks like Michael Jackson has left the Burj for the posh confines of the Dorchester Hotel in London. Perhaps he will be keeping tabs on the lads from his luxe room.
Seeing as he is staying at one of the fanciest hotels in the world, he probably won't agree with the recent growing distaste for UK hotels.
He's in the UK on business -- not pleasure....
word is he's recording a song called "From The Bottom of My Heart." The song is to benefit Katrina--
He fittingly appeared incognito wearing a black suit, and black glasses outside Madame Tussaud's. His wax replica, has not undergone plastic surgery though, so looks nothing like him.
Despite his disguise, people recognized him, after all he is rather unmistakable.
We wait with bated breath for Michael to log on and join our ongoing discussion about the state of British hotels.
Seeing your estranged husband bounce from luxury hotel to luxury hotel with an admitted lover of hotel sex has to effect your mood, at least on some level.
It seems in order to deal with her despair Jennifer has made two decisions:
Change her name to Rachel and seek comfort in the arms of Ross Gellar.
Head to London, check in to the Dorchester Hotel, aka the scene of the crime, and get multiple Bi-Aura Stress Buster treatments until she feels better.
With all she has been through in the last couple months, you can't really blame Rachel for holing up at the Dorchester.
According to Australian news sources, and we all know the Australians are very trusting blokes, Jennifer Aniston dumped Brad Pitt last month at the Dorchester Hotel in London. Jen was staying at the hotel while filming Derailed. Brad was visiting his wife.
She wants to be an A-lister he wants to be a Dad, or so the story goes. Some time ago the soon to be former Mrs. Pitt made some lame ass comment about Robin William's shedding his Mork skin and getting an Oscar, as if that is the reason she is ending her marriage.
Anyway, it all went down at the Dorchester Hotel in London, so before taking your significant other to the Dorchester to celebrate an anniversary or V-day, you may want to think twice, the celebrity breakup mojo might be in the sheets.
Our theory? The night Jen dumped Brad and fed him the abysmal Mork line, Brad left the room, checked into the hotel as George Clooney and dialed Angelina Jolie on her cell. Since we know Ms. Jolie has a hotel fetish, we figure Brad is keen to the info as well.
The Daily Star (a British Mag), is reporting that Uma Thurman and Daryl Hannah reportedly asked to be kept far apart while staying at the Dorchester Hotel in London for the premiere of "Kill Bill Vol. 2". Go get 'em girls.
Looks like the on screen venom between these two ladies is not an act. A source told the Daily Star,
"When the arrangements were made for the "Kill Bill" party it was made clear that Uma and Daryl were not to be allocated rooms near each other because they often bristle and snap at each other."
Wow. Just checked out the Dorchester lobby via Quicktime and it looks like it would be a great place for a full fledged Kill Bill samurai style fight between Uma and Daryl. Go get 'em girls.