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How do you spell romance? According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the concept of romance dates to the 14th century, and was not only about love but also adventure, among other things.
While every hotel on the planet is hoping to sell out thisValentine's Day weekend with promises of roses, champagne and custom chocolates, we think the concept of adventure deserves due attention on Valentine's Day.
For those of you who celebrate love in unconventional, occasionally extreme, ways - and you know who you are - we have a photo gallery just for you. These 12 hotel rooms - and we bet they are sold out - range from the blatantly racy to the sexy, lighter side of erotic love. There are no red roses, candles, or cushy quilts in these rooms, and we think you won't miss them.
However you choose to celebrate Valentine's Day, or anything else for that matter, we can pretty much guarantee there's a hotel room out there just for you.
Hotels aren't very creative when it comes to Valentine's Day unless there's a kinky movie tie-in, but even then, the offerings end up being more embarrassing than romantic. So when we see romance packages that we like, it's a rare thing. And of course, we're going to tell you all about it.
InterContinental Los Angeles has put together an over-the-top hotel package that includes something we actually really like--a private outdoor screening of a movie of your choice. Check out the set-up! The hotel could almost offer this as an a la carte offering, for those not flush enough to book the whole romantic package.
Speaking of the whole package, it's priced at $14,000, also includes two-night accommodations in the Royal Suite with views of the Hollywood Hills, a chilled bottle of Veuve Clicquot la Grade Dame 1998 and chocolate-dipped strawberries; a private five-course dinner for two in the Grand Salon Ballroom, adorned with candles, flowers and dim red lighting from overhead LEDs, a private piano performance during dessert, a spa treatment for two in a couples’ villa at Spa InterContinental, and a round-trip chauffer service in a Rolls Royce, provided by Black & White car rental, up the PCH to Malibu Wines, where couples will enjoy a day of sipping and relaxing and leave with a bottle from their selection of award-winning labels.
But hurry, the package needs to be booked today for stays this weekend. Call 310-284-6500 for more information.
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We curse the persons who decided to release the "Fifty Shades of Grey" movie on Valentine's Day Weekend. Because that means not only is our inbox overflowing with the usual schmaltzy hotel romance packages, we are now getting deluged with FSOG-themed hotel packages, promising some sort of "kinky" aspect to the hotel stay.
Despite our initial desire to quickly delete the packages (sorry, but we still haven't recovered from the hotel packages tied in with the book back in 2012), we've since had a change of libido and thought it would be fun for you to see these packages for your own entertainment.
Just a note: we've kept the hotels "blindfolded" so to speak so that they won't feel embarrassed about their spanking. (Of course, you can always Google the package to find out which hotel it is.)
And just so you know, the only acceptable hotels to role-play Christian Grey and Ana Steele is the Heathman Hotel in Portland, which was actually mentioned in the book. (Can't make it to the hotel? Um, maybe buy a pillow then?) along with the Fairmont Hotel Vancouver whose wood paneled Lieutenant Governor's suite is featured in the movie. (Rates of the suite start at $1,199 a night. No toys included.)
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Prepare to feel old – really old. Pretty Woman came out 25 years ago. 25 years! A whole quarter of a century! Yup, we feel old too.
How much does it cost to feel pretty? Why, a minimum of $15,000.
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Ah, the first days of February when the cold is holding you tight in its embrace and hotels are trying to warm you up with “sexy” and “sizzling” Valentine’s Day packages that actually make only your stomach sizzle – with that unsexy sick feeling. What’s worse, this year, lots of hotels are going all out with Fifty Shades of Grey packages (#pray4hotelchatter as we approach our inbox with trepidation each morning).
Luckily, there is one hotel offering something so gloriously insane that it starts at vomit-worthy and turns right round into awful but inspired.
The Ampersand in London is offering people who stay during February the chance to personalize your pillows “with a special message or image”. That means either your names, as per the photo, or… erm… something else. No word on whether there is anything they won’t print.
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Sadly we do not believe this man is included in your package
It’s the second week of January, and you know what that means. It means New Year’s resolutions are so over; now it’s all about Valentine’s Day. And while we’ll be seeing plenty of loved up packages with late check-outs and vomitable intimacy kits in the next coming weeks, we rather like this first one: the Broken Hearts Spa at Borgo Egnazia in Puglia (previously known for breaking your heart when Justin Timberlake held his wedding reception there).
This is no yeahhhh-single-gals-4eva patronizing spa retreat; it’s a full-on, totally nuts “renewal program” as only the Italians can do. Are you struggling with a break-up? They will knit you back together, not with fancy massages or sweet-smelling candles, but with an entire team of “soul therapists”:
For tips, of course.
If last week's recommendations for realistic and down-to-earth Valentine's Day packages were a little too... um... cheap, you might want to read up on these over-the-top options. And then, maybe start selling off some assets for your memorable, romantic getaway.
Here's how the other 1% will probably celebrate this Hallmark holiday with some of the most indulgent Valentine's Day hotel packages we've ever seen, listed by price.
1. Mayfair Hotel & Spa Miami's Pointer Sisters-themed "Jump for My Love" package
· A private plane ride of Miami's skyline and the Florida Everglades
· Tandem sky-dive
· 2-nights stay in the Mayfair Palor Suite
· 60-minute couples massage
Price: $1,150-1,900 for 2 nights
2. The Ritz-Carlton-Dove Mountain's "Starry-Eyed" package
· A night stay in their premier suite
· Dom Pérignon Rosé and chocolates
· Geo-caching experience - a romantic 'scavenger hunt' for 6 romantic items in the forest
· Sunset hike with Krug Grande champagne, chocolate-covered strawberries and a photo op at the summit
· Poolside dinner and spa treatments
· Star-registry for the couples
Price: $4,500 per night
Yesterday we rolled our eyes at the predictable amenities hotels will be throwing into their "Romance Packages" for Valentine's Day. Today, we're cutting through schmoopie sappiness to tell you about 5 Valentine's Day Hotel Packages We Would Actually Book.
1. "In The Mood" Package at The Benjamin NYC
The Benjamin has put together a rather cool package with an amenity we've not seen offered before--The Moodsign Signal & Game Cards. Placed on the nightstand, the Moodsign has two arms that illuminate in six different colors, which couples can assign meanings. For example, a yellow arm might be mean cuddle time while a red one could mean, "I have a headache and am going to bed." Lol. The Moodsign is meant to take the guessing out of the relationship while the Moodsign Game Cards help to spice it up (role-playing, blindfolds, etc.) Also included in the package is $25 room service credit; one in-room movie; 3pm late check-out; and best of all, interruption-free accommodations (no knocks or phone calls unless a request is made. Guests will also get a $30 salon/spa credit to use on services of $100 or more at Federico Hair Salon & Spa at the hotel.
The In the Mood offer is valid Thursday through Monday nights throughout the year and starts from $264 nightly. Go here to book and mention code BNMOOD .
Valentine's Day is a mere three weeks away and hotels--from luxury to boutique--are nearly tripping over themselves in attempt to win your money for the night with "romantic" themed packages. Yet no matter the hotel, the location or the star-rating, we keep seeing the same amenities in these Love Your Lover packages...over and over.
If you're about to book a hotel for Valentine's Day, here are 5 Predictable Amenites The Hotel Will Offer.
1. Chocolate. Whether it's a box of fancy chocolates or chocolate-covered strawberries, hotels will have this sweet stuff on hand. Just don't eat them in the bed. That could get...interesting. (And what will housekeeping think?)
2. Bubbly. Luxury hotels will have actual champagne from France while the rest may have bubbles from Napa. Either way, you'll be swigging some of this when you check-in. Bur remember, one glass, only!
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The InterContinental Hotel in Los Angeles not only has an awesome 18th floor helipad with insane views of Los Angeles, the luxury hotel is now letting use it for Valentine's Day. Helicopter ride included!
Priced at an eye-watering $11,000, the package includes accommodations in the newly renovated Presidential Suite with welcome drinks upon arrival (we've seen this suite and it is spectacular), a private 30-minute helicopter tour of Los Angeles in the city’s only twin-engine helicopters, a six-course private dinner for two with wine pairings against a romantic sunset backdrop with sweeping views of LA atop the hotel’s helipad, the Romance Ritual spa treatment at the Spa InterContinental, breakfast in bed for two the following morning, and overall royal VIP treatment, including valet parking, a romantic welcome amenity and suite decorations.
Of course, this is not something you book online. If you're serious about wooing your sweetheart with this package, call (310) 284-6557 to book.
If your wallet can't handle this package, don't fret. The hotel is also offering a Dinner on the Deck package which includes an upgrade to a Superior Sundeck Room with VIP treatment, an intimate four-course dinner with wine pairing on your private sun deck and breakfast in bed the next day. That's priced at $699 and can be booked online here. Just don't let your lover know you took the cheaper option.
GO HERE TO SEE THE NEWLY RENOVATED ROOMS AT THE INTERCONTINENTAL LOS ANGELES
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Haven't made plans with your sweetie for Valentine's Day yet? Have no fear. We've put together a short n' sweet list of seriously sexy Valentine's Day packages that are still available to book. But the clock is ticking!
CANYON RANCH MIAMI BEACH: The oceanfront wellness hotel is offering several new classes to "liberate one's libido" for Valentine's Day, including "Position Yourself", taught by Dr. Yoav Suprun. The renowned physical therapist will demonstrate important strengthening exercises to help you achieve the most desired sexual positions. Rates for the hotel for tonight and tomorrow start at $630 for a one-bedroom suite with a city view. That includes a kitchen area, 920-sq.ft. to try out your sexual positions and free wireless in case you need to look something up. Go here to book.
THE REVERE HOTEL, BOSTON: This new spunky spot on Stuart Street is offering a Screaming Orgasm package which includes overnight accommodations and a private mixology lesson where guests will learn to make X-Rated cocktails with Boston's own Kirsten “Kitty” Amann, author of The Screaming Orgasm: 69 X-rated Cocktails. As if the orgasm weren't enough, a copy of her book, in-room chocolate covered strawberries and whipped cream and a late checkout top off package, which is priced at $499. Go here to book.
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In case our round-up of Valentine's Day couples' packages didn't inspire any last-minute getaways (budgets are tight, we know), here's another tack for amorous couples planning a visit to one of the world's most gourmet-obsessed cities, New York.
Four Seasons New York: The hotel's prix fixe Valentine's Day menu ($105 per person) will include, among other things, a Chocolate and Passion Tart, specially concocted by Executive Pastry Chef Salvatore Martone for the holiday. The dish incorporates all the V-Day staple ingredients (champagne, strawberries, chocolate and passion fruit), and is the most adorable thing we've seen on a plate ever.
(It's also a lot more affordable than the hotel's diamond-studded dessert we featured back in December.)
For four more decadent dishes, read on!