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Dear Jordan, Please Don't Open a Hotel. Thanks.

Think she’ll welcome guests like this?

Ah, Jordan/Katie Price (whichever name you're inhabiting at the mo). We like you, we really do. We think you’re spunky, we love how you seem utterly indifferent to public derision, we’re glad you’ve split up with that drippy Peter Andre, and you’re clearly a phenomenal businesswoman.

And yet, we would prefer to admire your business skills from afar please. Which means sticking to your childrens books and your underwear business and not dipping a fake-tanned foot into the hotel trade, because that makes us feel a little bit sick.

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