Crazy Hotel Workers stay sane by whining about their life as hotel staff on their huge livejournal site and we never tire of reading it.
This week they mused about the warning signs one hotel is having to put up on new balconies, after a guest climbed on to the railing cables and broke a couple of them. Other Crazy Hotel Workers chimed in with a few good suggestions for the signage, like "Idiots cannot fly or land on their feet". But we think this sign might get the message across more succinctly than the rest:
Do not climb on the railings of the balconies. If you choose to do so and fall, the hotel staff will laugh at your sorry ass while they call an ambulance. You will also be charged triple for the room for being an idiot.
Embassy Suites has announced the five winners of last year's "Do Not Disturb" sign design contest, and, if this was the best of the lot, we imagine that the other 7,000-plus entries must have been truly and excruciatingly unfunny.
The winners, who came up with slogans like, "Aww Mom, just five more minutes. Please?" and "Shh... I'm hatching a plan to bust some little soaps out of here," receive a three-night stay at select Embassy Suites locations and, beginning March 5, will see their designs displayed at the hotelier's 190 properties.
But not all of the winning slogans are as embarrassingly childish for a grown adult to hang on his or her door as "I've built a pillow fort and I am not opening the door for anybody!" Clever selections include, "Pillow fight in progress" and "There are days when I wish I could wear this around my neck," which is what we guess the Embassy Suites marketing team was thinking when they came up with this contest.
Because out of all these creations, we still prefer Embassy Suites' own variation on the "Do Not Disturb Sign": "There's a good reason for you NOT to knock right now."
When you're traveling in a foreign country, not everything on the hotel restaurant sounds tasty--but is that because they're using ingredients you're just not used to, or is all a matter of the exquisite deliciousness getting lost in the translation?
Take, as a first example, a small hotel in the Slovak town of Trnava. If you're a lucky customer there, you'll be able to order the Typical Czech Rotten Cheese in Potato Rucksack. But if rotten food's not really your thing, you might be after something as simple as a Thai hotel's misspelt breakfast: "Fruit Jouce--Toast with Jame and Butter--Mussli with Yoghurt". Or back in Eastern Europe, a hotel in Poland let the following dishes onto their menu:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roast duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
So next time you want to complain about hotel food, think twice now that you know what some of the alternatives are.
This place will do anything Nevada law allows. They let you gamble, drink, eat, dance, marry, and divorce. They even let your kids into the swimming pool. That's how "down home" and relaxed this place is. So it's no surprise to us that they have this sign hanging outside the restrooms.
But we wonder, are their bathrooms the cure for the common crapper?
This hotel in China has some pretty strict rules, such as visitors of guests must be out by 11pm, juicy fruits (not the gum, but fruits like watermelons and plums) are not allowed, and unauthorized extension of electrical cables are not allowed.
And be careful if you want to bring any porn or political materials into your room as rule #12 strictly forbades it.
Sheesh, we'd hate to see what television channels they offer.
This photo from a hotel in Flint, Mich. asks guest to conserve resources but it also seems as if they want you to do your own laundry and there's some question about the sanitation of the towels. If you leave them up to air-dry, does that mean housekeeping will just fold them up for the next guest without washing?
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by amandak
