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Hotel Sex / Hotel Porn / Sexy Hotels / Nadya Suleman / Standard Hotels / Celebrity Scoop / → All Tags
The world cringed in horror this weekend as Nadya Suleman made the weird jump from eccentric, attention-seeking mother of fourteen children to porn star. TMZ reported that Octomom showed up to do her first video shoot at a mansion in San Fernando Valley, and actually did a pretty good job. Great.
Now that she's elevated herself into the lucrative (we hope) world of doin' it in front of the camera, a plain old hotel stay has the potential for so much more. So without further ado, here are a few places that might better suit her...purposes.
Photo booths are always a fun way to lighten the mood in any hotel lobby or bar, and in Suleman's case, could be a great money-saver if she ever needs to "rehearse" for her next shoot. Photos taken at The Shore Hotel's digital photo booth can only be emailed or shared via Twitter and Facebook—so whatever the self-loving Octomom may get up to in there, we at least know she won't be wasting paper.
Trust, us, we're as sick of hearing about the gosh-darned DSK hotel maid sex scandal as the next person, but this new item caught our attention. Fast on the heels of yesterday's saucy tidbit about the W London porn story, we bring you possibly the worst—or best? we can't quite tell—hotel sex news we've heard yet: My Porn Production is working on a porn film about the infamous Sofitel scandal, with the working title DXK.
Think we're making it up? French news outlet The Local alerted us to the imminent production, which will reportedly cost €200,000. And the best part? With a simple €50 donation, you can have your name in the credits!
Last month, see, top writer Naomi Alderman stayed at the W. This month, as way of thanks, she wrote a story for the hotel. But not just any story – a porn story. And as the folks at the W are caring, sharing folks, they’re pimping it out not just to their guests. Anyone who comes in and asks for it will, um, get it.
You’ll have to go to the W itself to read the story, but the hotel kindly
anticipated our reading tastes gave us a copy so we can tell you that it’s five pages, revolves around a model starlet staying at the hotel and includes scenes of beasting it up against the window over Leicester Square (AKA “doing a Standard”), in the gym, in a suite, in the screening room, and in the Lounge with those sexy plates.
Sample paragraph, clean enough for the pure readers of HotelChatter:
Yep, boyfriend Alex Rodriguez must think he hit a home run with this one. The bubbly blond loves her some skin flicks, especially in hotel rooms.
This bit of news will surely please the folks who've been lobbying for years to get hotels to ditch the porn channels on the in-room TVs--Marriott Hotels has decided to do away with adult movies in its new hotels. But the reason why may surprise you.
USA Today reports that the in-room adult movie channels are actually a shrinking revenue source as more guests are bringing their own entertainment in the rooms with them. And by "entertainment", they actually mean gadgets such as DVD players, iPads, laptops, etc. Tsk, tsk, cheeky monkeys.
Coupling the loss of revenue with the complaints from advocacy groups who say the adult movies are harmful to children, pulling the movie channels was probably a no-brainer for Marriott. They now join Omni Hotels who stopped offering adult movies back in 1999.
Resort fees may not be our favorite thing in the world (in fact they’re one of our least favorite things in hotel land) but since it looks like they’re here to stay (particularly in Vegas), we may as well appreciate some of the loopier things that come with them.
We were looking into booking a room at the boutiquey Rumor Resort in Vegas yesterday, when we noticed the daily resort fee of $11.95. It stung, a lot, so we called up to ask what it included. And were jazzed to find that as well as the usual - valet parking (uh, that’s always free in Vegas), local calls (gee, thanks, cos they aren’t included on our monthly package or anything), water by the bedside (purified water? Wowee), and WiFi (ok, that we’ll take) – the resort fee also includes free access to one adult channel.
We were confused. Did the nice lady in reservations really just say that? So we said, “What, you mean like porn?” And she stifled a giggle and said yes, but only the one. Channel, you understand. Not film.
This idea makes the Standard New York look amateurish.
We've been chronicling the adventures and misadventures of sex in hotels for a while now, from hotel sex kits to in-room porn, love hotels and even recommendations on where to do it. But never have we seen something as saucy as this--a collection of sex-themed hotels.
That's the new hotel concept being floated around by Berth Milton Jr., a Swedish porn publisher, but wait--it gets kinkier. The hotel wouldn't work like your usual hotel spot where you check-in, hand over a credit card, get your room key and head on upstairs. No, no, no.
Instead, guests will be given free rooms in exchange for broadcasting their sexytime on the internet. Yes, this will be the ultimate webcam sex hotel.
During our trip to New Orleans last week, after our encounters with hideously rude staff and a cockroach, we took refuge at the W Poydras Street. And as we were flicking through the info, we couldn’t help but notice that the DVD library included a porn selection, but that you’d have to call down - not just to order a film, but even to ask for the titles:
For adult titles from our collection, please contact whatever/whenever
According to TMZ, golf fans are so eager to see Tiger Woods return to action at this year's Master's Golf Tournament. So much so that mere hours after his announcement that he would return to golf, hotels near the August National Golf Club were sold-out for the tournament which takes place next month.
Of course, it's likely that the hotels were already booked well in advance as this is the most popular golf tourney of the season. But TMZ says that folks thinking of canceling their hotel rooms suddenly decided to firm up their plans once they learned Tiger Woods was coming back.
We just hope that Tiger himself is not staying in any hotels while in town. After all, part of his rehabilitation program probably involves staying away from any "triggers."
Going to the Master's? Got your hotel room squared away or in need of a hotel room? Let us know.
Infamous Hotels of the Week / Hotel WiFi / Hotel Porn / Bill Simmons / Hotel Conspiracies / → All Tags
Porn jammers! Old men in the club! Fergie! Hotel Strikes!
It always seems that no matter how much Celebrity Scoop we write about in a given week, there's also lots more that we didn't have time to get to. So from now on, every Friday we'll be rounding up the week's Infamous Hotels. This weekly list will include hotels that celebrities visited (and it made the news) but also hotels that really up the "Eww" factor. This can easily done by manipulating the WiFi connection for guests.
The Sports Guy aka Bill Simmons recently offered up his take on Hotel WiFi after spending four weeks on the road promoting his new book. According to Bill, he stayed in nine hotels and all of them had wireless. (Hey that's an improvement from the past!) But he noticed that the connection was also worse at night than in the morning. We've noticed that too and just chalked it up to more people being in their rooms at night, doing work, surfing the internet, downloading episodes of "Glee" and the like. But Bill has a different and way better theory.
It's my belief thatcertain hotels scramble their wireless at night to discourage guests from surfing for porn. Why? So they will order adult entertainment from the hotel's pay-per-view system. I know ... it's dastardly. But if you're the hotel, why give the milk away for free when you can make people pay for the cow?
More importantly, would you really put it past them? This is the same business that built motion detectors into mini-bars; they're going to give up the in-room porn business without a fight? It's evil, it's desperate, it's despicable and brilliant. The Porn Jammer is my Great Call of the Week.
Well said, Sports Guy. Well said.
Just because the holiday season is over doesn't mean you have to stop reminiscing over the warm and fuzzy family memories, and for us that most definitely involves road trips around the United States. Back in the olden days when Holiday Inns hosted the Rat Pack and Howard Johnson was the closest thing to a boutique chain, motels began their rise to cult status and their way into our hearts.
Just as it is today with all the hottest properties, motels back in the day were decorated with the latest hip furniture and trendy colors. Thankfully, the look was often times more Eero Saarinen Tulip chairs and Alexander Calder mobiles than grandma's powder room. Of course inspiration for the future usually hearkens back to the past, and we were thrilled to come across a Flickr Set showcasing one person's collection of vintage motel postcards. There's even a set specifically dedicated to Holiday Inns.
The sets pay tribute to the days when motels had names like romance novels--"Melody Manor," "New Townhouse," and "Astro Motel"--but also include some recognizable properties like the Hyatt Lodge in Palm Springs or Las Vegas' Boulevard Motel, which gets no love from the Flickr user: "This motel was built in 1963 and demolished in 2005. It was, by far, the ugliest hotel on the strip." Others were luckier, as most exist today as renovated Comfort Inns or something as such. Next time you roll through Yuba City, California or Michigan City, Indiana, keep your eye out for these relics; one of them could be a favorite designer haunt.
[Edgewood Motel, NY postcard: roadsidepictures]
Sometimes in life, it’s the little things, and it appears that Chic&Basic hotels in Barcelona and Amsterdam truly gets this.
For starters, their toiletries are funny. (Don’t deny that that soap didn’t make you chuckle.) It could be the crappiest soap you’ve ever used—something that smells like feet and dries out your skin—but who cares?! The packaging is so darn basic it’s unavoidably cute.
Second, the Chic&Basic web site is like free porn! Well, kinda. The site features a photo of two chicks lying in bed together, one with her arm suggestively draped over the other and another with two men and one woman in bed together. How chic!
However, you’ll have to click on the Castellano version of the site to see these suggestive photos—apparently people who only read English are too uptight for these sorts of things. Or, if you’re like us, too immature.
[Photo: Fatty Tuna]