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Question: is it ever ok to ask a woman what her childbearing status is? (Answer: not unless it is particularly vital to the conversation, or if she brings it up.)
Another question: how many 21st-century women do you know who define themselves by their childbearing status? (Answer: unless they’re joking about ‘mom brain’, or write "proud mom!!" on their Twitter bio, not many, presumably because it’s the 21st century and in general society believes that women have brains and souls and vocations that don't necessarily include breeding, and the virgin/whore/mother categories were put on fade when we got the vote.)
Last question: in light of the above, just how much sense does it make for a hotel to market a new package for
barren sterile heartless unfulfilled childless women?
Personally we’d say not much sense at all, but the Westin New York Grand Central seems to think barren is the new black, because they’ve just launched a package called Womanhood Redefined, aimed at women of childbearing age who – the horror! – don’t have children. It is, they claim, an ‘industry first’. Guys, sometimes there’s a reason for that.
The Womanhood Redefined package aims to “create a new definition of happiness” for women (whose happiness meter is, of course, generally contingent on the number of offspring that have swum through their birth canal). The hotel has teamed up with Melanie Notkin, author of the gloriously titled book, Otherhood: Modern Women Finding A New Kind Of Happiness. Together, they have decided that this is what childless women want from a hotel stay:
· A bed for the night (presumably unwarmed, just like your single mattress at home);
· A copy of Otherhood (to help you find happiness despite your stale loins);
· A $25 food and beverage credit towards cocktails at the bar (because SATC, woohoo!) or in-room dining (in case you are ashamed to show your single self in public);
· A personal consultation with the hotel’s executive chef, who will tell you about superfoods and growing home gardens (crucial question: is he single? MAYBE YOU CAN MARRY HIM);
· A personal consultation with the hotel’s Running Concierge (careful now, overexercise can lead to fertility issues);
· 10% discount on yoga classes at a nearby studio (bcs you childless girls looove your yoga);
· A complimentary Westin White Tea candle (clutch it to your never-lactated bosom, it smells almost as good as a baby);
· Loaned exercise gear (because nothing feels as good as working out in second-hand sneakers).
But there is another, posh side to Mallorca. And in a bid to remind you of this, the Jumeirah Port Soller Hotel & Spa, which is perched on its own little cliff in Port Soller, has launched an insane-levels-of-luxury package – or, as they call it, a Superlative Mallorca package. It includes:
Does getting free access to the beach at your beach hotel sound like it should be a given? You obviously haven’t been to Italy. Il bel paese is also the land of privatized sand, and even when your hotel owns a strip of it, there’s no guarantee it’ll include access in the room rate.
Which is why the summer deal just announced by the Principe di Piemonte in Viareggio, on the Tuscan coast, is actually a good one. Viareggio has a spectacular beach, but it’s practically all private. Not even the Principe – the best hotel in town – has its own beach, though it does have access to one, and normally charges each guest €35 ($47) per day to enter.
From today until 31 August, though, if you stay for at least three nights, they’ll cover the beach cost: entry, one sunshade, two deckchairs and one sunlounger. You also get access to a seawater pool, but why would you need that when the Mediterranean is right there, sparkling at you?
Hotel Packages / Broadmoor Colorado Springs / Colorado Springs Hotels / Colorado Hotels / → All Tags
It doesn't get much more Rocky Mountain than fly fishing for trout, andThe Broadmoor in Colorado Springs has launched an on-property fishing school to prove it to guests.
The fly fishing package corresponds with the opening of a new lakeside lodge on the Broadmoor's East Golf Course, which is decked out Adirondack style with Native American and fly-fishing memorabilia. The classes are offered year round on the docks surrounding the lodge and can be catered to any skill level on the art of fly-tying, casting, and approach. All the equipment is supplied, but if you're thinking about catching your own dinner, keep in mind the classes are catch and release.
The Milky Way, with HotelChatter star
Ever strolled across the Ponte Vecchio in Florence and thought, if only there were a private place to have dinner and enjoy this beautiful view?
Ever visited the Royal Observatory at Greenwich and thought, Greenwich Mean Time would mean so much more to me if I could have it to myself? Ever gone to the opera (in Prague, to be precise), and thought, this is all well and good, but those acoustics would really shine better if it was just me and my loved ones soaking them up?
Ever strolled across the Ponte Vecchio in Florence and thought, if only there were a private place to have dinner and enjoy this beautiful view? Ever visited the Royal Observatory at Greenwich and thought, Greenwich Mean Time would mean so much more to me if I could have it to myself? Ever gone to the opera (in Prague, to be precise), and thought, this is all well and good, but those acoustics would really shine better if it was just me and my loved ones soaking them up?
If so, the European cluster of new Four Seasons Experiences may well be for you.
Similar to the newly launched Peninsula Academy, Four Seasons Experiences are for people to whom a Four Seasons property is what a Motel 6 is to the rest of us: completely affordable and a little bit yawn. To stifle that yawn, the brand has come up with various “experiences” to liven up your stay. Having taken a look at the European ones, we’d say they’re pretty good. Pretty good if you’re a particularly spendthrift oligarch, that is.
Let’s start with one for everyone, or everyone who can afford to stay at the George V in Paris. All guests of the hotel and Le Cinq restaurant can partake in a special monthly wine tasting in the hotel’s wine cellar. It’s guided by Eric Beaumard, director of Le Cinq, and cheese, charcuterie and puff pastry snacks included too. Win! Cost: just the room rate, a mere €905 and up.
Up next: a behind-the-scenes visit at St Petersburg’s famous Russian Museum, courtesy of Four Seasons Hotel Lion Palace St Petersburg. You’ll get a 90-minute tour of the museum’s restoration chambers and a walkthrough of the restoration process. Price: $1175 per visit (maximum three people). Room rates from $502. Perfect for those wishing to celebrate their first mil with an art purchase and wanting some Proper Background.
Running under the ski lifts in Jackson Hole
Over the past few years, we've seen sports and exercise become much more prominent as the motivation behind a vacation. The trend has basically become a new form of adventure travel, driven by people who not only associate fitness with fun, but are willing to pay big money for programs that push their limits.
The latest region to design a package to entice runners is Jackson Hole, who has teamed up with running coach Eric Orton, the Hotel Terra, and the Teton Mountain Lodge & Spa to host the first ever Eric Orton Jackson Hole Running Camp. If you don't know who Eric Orton is, you can read more about him here.
Father's Day Hotels / Hotel Deals / Hotel Packages / Kimpton Hotels / Mandarin Oriental Hotels / Waldorf Astoria Hotels / Four Seasons Hotels / → All Tags
You're a good man, Clark.
Dear Dad, we're sorry that you've suffered through years of opening pointless gifts on Father's Day like the bland ties, the boxes of golf balls you didn't need, the fad workout equipment you did need but didn't know how to operate and for that goofy Batman water bottle with "DAD" written on the back in permanent marker (Actual gift I gave my dad. I was 9.)
This year, there's no excuse for ho-hum gifts to give your father this Sunday, thanks to these hotels and their totally not lame offerings.
For The COOL DAD: The Hotel Palomar in San Francisco has put together a "Tie One On & Throw One Back" package that gives men a one night stay at the hotel, a beer-fueled private shopping appointment at the cool casual Bonobos Guide Shop; 20 percent off Bonobos purchases; either a beard trim or a straight razor shave at People's Barber Shop; and a "Get Me a Juice Box" Lunch Box at the hotel's rooftop bar, serving two cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon, a thermos filled with a Hot Toddy and a little bar snack. Rates start at $259 a night but the package must be booked two weeks in advance. Go online at www.hotelpalomar-sf.com and use code TIEON or call 866-373-4941.
For The RUM LOVIN' DAD: The Mandarin Oriental New York is offering a special Father's Day rum tasting flight of the Facundo Rum Collection in their Asiate restaurant, the Lobby Lounge and the MObar. Each selection of the Eximo, Exquisito and Paraiso aged sipping rums can also be paired with a cheese plate. Simply sipping on the rums is $65 per person while doing the cheese pairing is $85 per person. Make your reservations by calling 212-805-8800. The tasting ends on Sunday.
Fourth Of July Hotels / Hotel Deals / Hotel Packages / Palm Springs Hotels / Desert Hot Springs Hotels / → All Tags
It’s one of the Coachella Valley’s most unique retreats, and now you can get the midcentury classic Hotel Lautner all to yourself – for Fourth of July no less.
The John Lautner-designed hotel (though actually it’s more of a self-catering option with four self-contained rooms, each with a kitchenette and private terrace) will be closing for the hot months of July and August, but before it shuts its doors, it’s offering a special Fourth of July weekend package: buy out the entire compound, which gets you all four rooms, the saline plunge pool, fire pit and BBQ.
The package costs $1900 for the Friday to Sunday, or $2850 for Friday to Monday, including tax. Considering each room usually costs $225 plus tax – midweek, low season – that’s not too shabby.
Hotel Packages / New York Hotels / Manhattan Hotels / W Hotels / Hotel TVs / Hotel Technology / → All Tags
You know when you’re on the couch watching
the Kardashians your favorite TV show, and you want to get up to get drinks/food/an empty bladder, but you don’t want any of that quite enough to get up and move?
You do? Good. The W New York Union Square has just the package for you.
As the name suggests, the new Sunday Binge Watch package is especially designed for couch potatoes. You get your two welcome cocktails (or a basket of beer) in-room. You get a basket filled with movie theater-appropriate candy and snacks. And you get an Apple TV with access to up to three full seasons of the following TV shows: Orange is the New Black, Mad Men, Homeland, Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead and Sex and the City.
Those who go to Berlin seeking to soak up the city's incredible history will be interested to learn that a package offered by the 400-room Westin Grand gives guests the opportunity to take home a piece of the Berlin Wall with a two-night "Wallpecker Package."
The hotel recently purchased a chunk of the Wall, which now sits out in front of the lobby doors on the street. Guests who book the package get to take up a chisel and hammer off a piece, which comes with a certificate of authenticity. The package also includes an upscale taste of Berlin in the form of a currywurst sausage and a glass of Champagne at the lobby restaurant (check out our bro Jaunted's guide to eating in Berlin to learn more about currywurst).
Google Glass / Google Glass Hotels / Hotel Packages / Hotel Technology / San Francisco Hotels / → All Tags
As they promised the other month, the The Stanford Court Hotel has now begun offering a Google Glass overnight package for interested guests.
The hotel initially offered free drinks to Google Glass owners but they've now taken the Glass upstairs to the guest rooms. The "Google Glass Explorer Package" offers guests the complimentary use of a pair of Google Glass to use during their stay, along with overnight accommodations in a deluxe room, breakfast in the hotel's Aurea cafe, and a nightly beverage in the Aurea Lounge.
In case you've never tried on Google Glass before, the hotel will give guests a brief tutorial including a creative handout that teaches one how not to be a Glasshole. #sonecessary
The package starts at just $199 a night and is available through the end of the year. Meanwhile, a real pair of Google Glass can set you back a cool $1,500 dollars. Not in San Fran? You can also try on Google Glass during your stay at the ACME Hotel in Chicago.
Hotel Spas / Hotel Packages / Germany Hotels / Leading Hotels of the World / Europe Hotels / → All Tags
Remember hearing of the days when people traveled to European hotels and spas to “take the cure?” Well Brenners Park-Hotel & Spa in Baden-Baden (part of the Oetker Collection and Leading Hotels of the World) has set up three seven-day detox programs that harken back to those days of yore.
Brenners Vitality Detox – This is considered to be the starter package for detox virgins. As with all of the detox programs you get an interview with the Detox Specialist, a personalized menu plan and full board prepared in the Detox Vitalizing Kitchen, daily detoxifying tea and a green smoothie, daily yoga, and a five-course Gourmet Detox Dinner in the Michelin-starred restaurant.
The Vitality Detox package also includes spa goodies such as a De-acidifying Alkaline Bath to “support corporeal removal” and a body scrub with bio-virgin coconut oil and fleur de sel.
The Vitality Detox program starts at $3,430 Euros ($4,773) for seven days including accommodation in a Classic Single Room.
Brenners Organic Detox – This package combines spa treatments with a fitness program, and here’s where things start to get a wee bit funky. Along with innocuous sounding treatments like the sea mud compress with alkaline Epsom salts, we have the Flush-out Body Scrub with supporting Belly Button Massage. This makes us a little squirmy. You?
The Organic Detox program starts at $4,095 Euros ($5,698) for seven days including accommodation in a Classic Single Room.
And then we have their big gun: the Brenners Medical Detox. This ain’t for no sissy-baby spa goer (see below for more!)