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Gondolas Rides Don't Usually Come with Couples Massages, Do They?

Where: 4000 Coronado Bay Road [map], Coronado, CA, United States, 92118

Excuse me, Mr. Gondolier Man. Keep your eyes on the water!

We swoon at the idea of taking a gondola ride with our honey and we're big fans of massages (who isn't?), but we're not so sure about combining the two. The Loews Coronado's latest romantic rudbown deal may have missed the boat. The hotel offers couples' massages on 33-foot gondolas while cruising down the waterways of the Coronado Cays.

As part of the Voga Voyage package, you'll hop on an authentic Venetian gondola—though, the two massage beds aren't so authentically Venetian—and depart from the resort’s private marina. You lovebirds get a sunscreen application, since the sun can be especially harsh while out on the water, and a 40-minute massage. Afterward, if you aren't seasick, you'll sip Champagne and nibble on strawberries for the final 10 minutes of the cruise/spa treatment.

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Drink and De-Stress With The Vine's Wine-Spiked Spa Treatments

Where: Rua dos Aranhas 27A, Funchal Madeira, Portugal, 9000 - 39

Astute winos of the sniff, swirl and spit (during marathon tasting sessions) family might snub their noses at splashing about in a Cabernet-spiked bath. Thankfully, that's not what Madeira's The Vine hotel is suggesting. The hotel is taking a favorite alcoholic beverage and using it in unexpected ways, namely in spa services that make use of wine's many antioxidant properties.

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Tags: Kimpton Hotels / Funky Spa Treatments / Green Hotels / Hotel Spas / → All Tags

Kimpton Loves Sloths, Spa Treatments and Paraben-Free Products

The animal lovers at Kimpton Hotels love not only animals, but the whole natural world. So they are pretty proud to announce that they're the first chain to introduce sustainable products for their in-room spa treatments. Sure, it's not as cool as accommodating sloths, but for all of you who have no pet sloth, perhaps you can enjoy the new spa products instead.

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Caesars Atlantic City Says "Touch My Body" With New Qua Spa

Where: 2100 Pacific Avenue [map], Atlantic City, NJ, United States, 08401

These are rough times folks, and who knows this better than the casinos.

So when you're looking at a Jersey Shore vacation instead of going all out on a Caribbean escape, the casino hotels will pull out all the stops to get you to make up the difference in frivolous extras.

Case in point: Caesars in Atlantic City has just unveiled their new 16,000 square foot Qua Spa, (a sister to the Vegas spa) kicking it off with exorbitant treatments perfect for the moment when you decide to say "the hell with it."

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Flowers and Clams: The Latest Funky Hotel Spa Treatments

Outrageous spa treatments are all the rage these days at luxury hotels.

We rounded up a few quirky spa treatments not too long ago and now the Glam.com has added to the list with their The Six Most Indulgent New Spa Treatments available at schwanky hotels nationwide -- and they range from the vegetable, the floral, and the mineral, to the quadruple-handed.

Yes. Quadruple-handed. Keep reading for more of these exotic treatments.

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Get Buckwild in the Spa With These Funky Treatments

If you thought bathing in a tub of expensive Evian water was crazy, that seems sane compared to these funky spa treatments we've heard about. Ok, so maybe spending $11,000 on a bath is not something someone of sane mind would do but would you put a 24-carat gold mask on your face? Didn't think so.

· Hinoki Bath: The Conrad Tokyo lets spa guests soak in a tub made out of Hinoki cypress, "with a rich grain, smooth texture and the subtle scent of cypress."

· The 24-carat Gold Facial: The Eldorado Hotel & Spa in Santa Fe uses gold to slow down depletion and to stimulates cellular growth. Also, gold works on inflamed areas and age spots. Also, gold masks make you look scary!

· The Flour Scrub: The spa at Hilton Molino Stucky in Venice pays homage to the hotel's past history as a flour mill. The flour scrub is an exfoliating treatment. The spa also offers a full-body gold treatment too. We need to see a picture of that.

· Liquid "Gold" Treatments: At the Ohtli Spa in the Casa Magna Marriott Puerto Vallarta they use Xocolatl (shoco-latle), also known as liquid gold, which was reserved for Aztec royalty in ancient Mexico. But it's not really gold. It's chocolate and they rub it all over you.

· Lava Shell Therapy: At the Tides Zihuatanejo they use self-heating Tiger Clam shells during a Swedish-style massage. This sounds kind of creepy but compared to the Asian spas where fish feast on your feet, it's totally do-able.

Tags: Miami Hotel Mambo / Hotel Spas / Funky Spa Treatments / Insane Hotel Packages / → All Tags

Miami's Hotel Victor Still Offering Guests an $11,000 Soak in Evian Water

Where: 1144 Ocean Drive [map], Miami Beach, FL, United States, 33139

Had a long, sweaty day out prowling Collins Avenue while being buffeted by the salty air of South Beach? If you're headed back to your $6,000-a-night Penthouse Suite at Miami's Hotel Victor, an Evian bath can be ordered up and waiting.

The experience, curated by the hotel's "Spa V" team and costing an extra $5,000 on top of the $6K suite, dumps 1,000 liters of Evian water into a 350 gallon infinity tub to "revitalize the skin and purify the senses."

The first to indulge in the "World's Most Expensive Bath" was Serena Williams but we highly doubt she was asked to cough up $11,000 for the final bill. Yet, if you do have $11,000 laying around and need to deep-cleanse, this bath is full service.

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Express Check-Out :: Hotel Spas Target Your "Cottage Cheese"

It's not just Mischa Barton who cries over cellulite.  As beach season approaches, some women are taking a long, hard look at their behinds and thighs and thanking dog they can do it without the paparazzi snapping away.  But there's a slew of hotel spas jumping on the "cottage cheese" bandwagon, with all kinds of therapies, treatments, and wraps to zap those dimpled derrieres. Here's just a sampling of what's available:

· The Topnotch Resort & Spa in Stowe, Vermont, has just rolled out something called Dermawave therapy, a needle-free series of electrical pulses that targets the loose fat cells and tissues of your dermis.   A 30-minute session is US$325 (although they carefully point out that  eight to ten sessions are recommended, but real results can be seen after five or six treatments.)

· The Spa at Estancia La Jolla offers what's called The Estancia Cellulite Treatment Wrap -- we're envisioning women being swaddled in a giant roll of Saran, but then again, probably not.  Their website didn't offer a price for this treatment on their online menu, but a gentleman at the Spa tells us it's $125 for 50 minutes.

· The Paris Las Vegas Spa by Mandara offers the "amazing" Ionithermie anti-cellulite treatment.  Indulge in their "Cellulite Reduction Program." A single treatment is $200, three for $550, and five for $875.  (Or you can opt for their 50-minute "Elemis Cellutox Aroma Spa Ocean Wrap" for $130, and then get a full-body spray tan afterwards for $75. It is Vegas, after all.)

· Bliss Spas, located in many W Hotel outposts including Chicago, Los Angeles, Dallas, and San Francisco (with another one set to open in The W Scottsdale) offers the most reasonably priced treatments in the bunch, in our humble opinion. Called "high thighs" (yes, it's lower cased), they'll administer some "lymphatic drainage" and "toxin-tackling orange peel skin-wringing rub" to your butt cheese for 60 minutes, for a cool $100.