THE MEDICAL ONE: L’ALBERETA, ITALY
L’Albereta, a luxury hotel on beautiful Lake Iseo in Lombardy, has a Chenot spa (or Espace Vitalité Henri Chenot, as they call it), which provides medical-style health retreats, combining a detox menu with things like “bio-energy check-ups” and “phyto-mud therapy”. It doesn’t sound legit, but it gets rave reviews – a friend of a friend claims to have been correctly diagnosed with a tapeworm, just by the doctor looking at spots around her mouth. What’s better, the detox menu is no big sacrifice, since it’s catered by the hotel restaurant.
PRICE: A three-night “Summer detox” program costs €1250 ($1669) per person, excluding accommodation. Rooms start at €315 ($420), stay three nights and get one free.
THE PHYSICAL ONE: NO 1 BOOTCAMP, IBIZA
It’s the preferred bootcamp of the TOWIE and British reality TV crowd – that’s basically all you need to know about No 1 Bootcamp. Operating various camps in the UK, Spain and now Morocco, you do military-style fitness exercises (and yoga) in a beautiful setting – think dragging boats along the beach and things like that – with a makeup-on-while-exercising, body-beautiful vibe (that’s the TOWIE girls mudwrestling in the picture above, for instance).
PRICE: A single ensuite room starts at £1995 ($3321) for one week in Ibiza, all in, though if you’re willing to share a yurt, it knocks it down to £850 ($1415).
THE HOLISTIC ONE: FIERCE GRACE, TURKEY
Fierce Grace is one of London’s hottest yoga studios right now, and their yoga retreats in Turkey (and Italy, too) are the stuff of yogic legend. New venue The Pomegranate is near Olu Deniz, on Turkey’s Turquoise Coast. It already has history – Kate Moss stayed there in 2011.
PRICE: From £980 ($1630) for a weeklong retreat, all in (but excluding flights).
THE LAIDBACK ONE: ZENING, CYPRUS
If you’ve never been on a health retreat, and you’re scared of being assailed/irritated by fitness freaks or yoga bores, Zening is the one for you. It’s a simple but pleasant hotel, perched on a bluff overlooking the glorious bay of Polis, in western Cyprus; and it just so happens to have a daily program of yoga, pilates, fitness, meditation and so on. Everything’s free, but nothing’s obligatory, so you can do as much or as little as you like. There’s no red meat and no hard liquor served on property, but feel free to go crazy with the fish suppers and vino; it’s also a mobile-device-and-kid-free zone.
PRICE: Rooms start at €130 ($173) per night, including breakfast and unlimited classes.