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Who Wants 'Professional' Tips on Hotel Room Trashing From Bret Michaels?

July 28, 2014 at 12:18 PM | by | ()

Nearly three years after Bret Michaels boasted of "professionally" showing Charlie Sheen how to trash a hotel room, the 80s rock star has let loose with some more "pro" tips. (Bret who? If you're a millennial, here's a tutorial.)

He told Yahoo Travel the following:

“There’s got to be a massive kick, usually into a closet door — a little hollow in there, so you get your foot through it so you feel fired up when it happens,” says Bret.

Always smash things that create noise. “Find a vase or something that’s going to shatter loudly,” says Bret. “Go after the coffee machine — that’s a good one — anything from the minibar. Make sure it’s loud and a lot of glass involved and there are no children within eye-shatter range.” Major warning: Nothing should be thrown out the window, as lawsuits ensue.

Lastly, it’s very important to pay the bill. Bret would know. He’s greeted back with open arms (almost) everywhere. “I’m welcome back anywhere that I destroy, as long as I pay the bill and they can fix the room. It makes for great stories.”

No offense. But these seem kind of weak. We do admire him for paying the bill but if we were going to trash a hotel room (maybe on our last day at HotelChatter perhaps?) there's only one person we'd seek advice from--Lindsay Lohan.

For starters, she's been banned from 9 major hotels. We also saw in action how Lindsay takes over a hotel room during her reality show on OWN this past spring, when she defiled the Soho Grand with cigarettes and her hoarding tendencies. And she's the queen of not paying her hotel bill.

But thanks for the tips, Bret. We'll be thinking of you as we light a bandana on fire in the hotel sink.

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