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This is One 'Duck Dynasty' That Can't Be Saved

December 26, 2013 at 9:06 AM | by | ()

December 2013 has not been a good month for ducks. First, Duck Dynasty's patriarch revealed his nasty true colors in a recent GQ article that compared homosexuals to terrorists. Next, we saw chefs blasting ducks with hair dryers before roasting (granted, the ducks were already "prepped" for cooking) and now we've learned that the ducks who used to march around the former Peabody Hotel in Little Rock, Arkansas may end up dead when the area's hunting season concludes next month. We know. Awful. But, how could this have happened?

Well, much like Hyatt Hotels taking over the Peabody Hotel in Orlando, the Peabody in Little Rock was sold off to Marriott Hotels who turned the property into the Little Rock Marriott. According to the New York Times, once the sale was complete, Marriott was forced to remove all signs of the ducks. The man who raised the ducks told the paper he dropped the ducks off at a ranch that does not allow hunting. But….

But like his previously retired Peabody flocks, the ducks disappeared, as ducks do, most likely to southeastern Canada. Mallards typically return to Arkansas when the water in Canada freezes in the fall. That means the Peabody ducks would no longer have the safety of the ranch.

So the ducks most likely ended up somewhere in the wilds of the Arkansas Delta and quite possibly could have been shot down during the state's 60-day duck hunting season. Oh god. They may also be getting blasted by a hair dryer before roasting. SOB.

A tiny bit of us is remaining hopeful that the Peabody's marching training taught the ducks some survival skills as well. But we won't fool ourselves. Let's just hope 2014 will be kinder to the ducks.

[Photo: Peabody Orlando/Facebook]

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