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Hotel Employees, For Better Or Worse, Are Using The Internet To Tell It Like It Is

August 22, 2012 at 9:33 AM | by | Comments (3)

Working in a hotel must be tough. Between the constant upkeep of rooms, the late hours, the cranky guests, we imagine most hotel staffers are always on the verge of snapping. Come to think of it, they probably could benefit from a little venting once in a while...

Well, that's exactly what happened in an online discussion thread asking hotel employees to share secrets they normally keep from guests. Started just yesterday, the thread has already accumulated over 5,000 responses, which are alternately helpful, hilarious, and gross—many of them relate specifically to misplaced bodily fluids (yuck).

If you're brave enough to read them, you might wind up with a whole new, slightly paranoid, outlook on life in a hotel room. Here are a few of our favorites...

· "Check the seals on the things in the minibar. I once had a guest who had drunk the whiskey and then peed in the bottle, closed it, and put it back."

· "A guest in a central hotel in Stockholm showed up in a suit and with a briefcase, very proper. Paid in cash up front. Said bye the next day when he checked out. When the cleaners later came into the room the walls where smeared with feces. Top to bottom."

· "I stayed on the 'club' level of the Ritz once and the butler guys in the club would say yes to just about anything I'd ask (it was all free in there). Can I have 2 redbull vodkas, a jack and coke and a warm chocolate chip cookie?

My pleasure sir.

I asked if they ever said no. His response was 'We aren't allowed to perform sexual favors and we can't sell you drugs but what you do in your room is your business.'"

· "At the four seasons, or really similar hotels of that calibre, you can ask to include things in your client file, such as preferences. A friend of mine asked them to include "loves chocolate chip cookies" in their file and when he stays at any four seasons, they have a plate of cookies in his room."

· "Currently a night auditor for a large hotel chain. Recently (about a month ago) a lady had a miscarriage in one of our bath tubs. She didn't say anything and left us to find it on our own..."

· "Staying in San Diego (insert whale penis reference) with a girlfriend and she bolted the door. We took our showers and had ordered a pizza. We were blow drying our hair and didn't hear the commotion outside our door. Opened up the front door to look for pizza delivery guy. About two dozen cops are there and an ambulance. Blood is running down our door.

Guy on PCP decided he wanted to rape us so he dove through his hotel window and was trying to open our door. Cops came and dragged him away. They thought we were really smart for staying in our room until they got him in the ambulance.

Always deadbolt your door."

Not that you needed this guy to remind you, but seriously. Always, always deadbolt the door.

For more of the potty-themed stories, visit the thread here.

[Photo: HotelChatter]

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Crazy hotel workers

Remember the Crazy Hotel Workers forum? I used to love reading that site to see what employees were saying about hotel guests!

I'm dying!

And gagging. And dying some more. This is why I tip housekeeping daily. Good gravy.

I have so many...

The only Amex Black card (the one with no nothing on it, and no limit, at all) was given to us by a guy who ended up like the Stockholm guy... prostitutes going to the hospital, feces smeared all over everything.  When we charged him a $25,000 cleaning fee, he took that to mean that we would welcome him back.  He called back and asked to reserve again.  We politely declined.

A large woman suction cupped into a tub - I was MOD, and by the time I got there, the security guard was laughing, and walking away.. "I'm done".  He put 3 modest, teeny wash cloths over the appropriate parts.  It was awful.  The firemen had to actually get her out.

Lots of suicides, double suicides, etc.  People think they are making it easier on their families, and you are just putting a poor housekeeper, who gets paid nothing, into therapy.  But when the suicides put the muzzle of the gun under their chin, and shoot forward - they live, but they shoot the entirety of their face off. It's a sound and images I can never, to this day, get out of my head.

Bomb scares during the 2000 DNC... I even had a guy dressed in a pig costume dump two tons of manure on the front drive of the Wilshire Grand in LA.

Kitchen Confidential kind of stuff, using service elevators for hijinks, etc.  I could go on for years about this stuff.  I have a list of my top 20, and I keep meaning to write a book. =) We all do.

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