If you're vain enough to actually book the Sagamore package, you'll secure yourself a scalp massage and hair styling for two at Muse Beauty Suite, 'a small but sexy discount' of 10% off your room rate, two free 'Sexy on the Beach' cocktails at the pool bar, and a 1 p.m. late check-out so you can be as vain and sexy as long as possible.
The rates are not what we'd call particularly sexy, starting from $525 a night, but then again it is now the height of The Season in Miami. The package is valid through April 30 and the rate code you need to know is SOP.
Once upon a time we would have added Gansevoort South to this list but The Perry South Beach, as it's now known, seems past its brief and heady heyday, although STK is still waving the flag as a sexy steakhouse.
What are your picks for the Vainest Hotels in Miami? Let us know in the comments below.
[Photos: Inset courtesy Sagamore; HotelChatter]