Pimp Stabbing Hooker Just Another Day At Miami Hotel
Ah, Miami. The city of pristine white beaches, fake boobs, and more Art Deco than you can shake a geometric tail feather at. Hotels, too. Plenty of hotels. Some of them classic, some of them new and flashy, and some of them places where people get stabbed.
We checked into our mid-range South Beach hotel on Tuesday night, pleased with ourselves for scoring a centrally-located hotel within our budget (under $200). Except that when we walked into the lobby, the first thing we saw was crime scene tape, and a whole bunch of police officers.
"Um, what happened?" we asked as calmly as possible.
"Oh, there was an incident this morning. A pimp stabbed one of his hookers," the concierge told me.
"Did anybody die?"
"Oh, no," he answered, as though we'd asked if someone had fallen and scraped their knee.
Not interested in saying much more, he swiped our credit card, handed us our room key, and invited us to happy hour in the bar at 7pm. We weren't exactly thrilled at the idea of staying some place a stabbing had occurred just hours earlier, but then again, we'd already been on the road for nine hours, and we needed a shower and a nap. So we reluctantly picked up our bags, got into the elevator and pressed "3."
Read on to find out the name of the hotel we stayed at!
When we got to our floor, we saw that the crime scene was just three doors down from our own room! Wow. You'd think they (or, at least, the police) would have re-routed us to a separate floor or something. Not in Miami!
We saw cops walking in and out of the room, silently wondering to ourselves if there was blood on the walls or maybe even a discarded weapon. Then we heard one of the detectives say they had just finished checking for fingerprints, including under the bathroom sink, which had "a bunch of blood" on it. Yup, it was definitely still a crime scene in there.
Exhausted, and not wanting to linger too long in the hallways, we retreated to our room, where we immediately bolted the door, and then logged onto Facebook to share our experience.
All in all, we can't say our stay at the Clinton South Beach was entirely bad. The bed was comfy, our desk was a perfectly good spot to get work done, and the gorgeous beach was just a block away. The friendly concierge who had shrugged off the stabbing incident redeemed himself by recommending an excellent Cuban restaurant, where we headed later for delicious pollo asado and rice and beans.
Miami, you're still in our good books. Just try to keep the stabbings out of hotels next time, ok?
Rates begin at $105 per night