HotelChatter

That's crazy! From a Wyndham to a Hilton! I have to say though, Fashion26 is way cooler of a name than Hilton. And am guessing the free wifi is totally dunzo now that Hilton is in the house?

Only the schmucks at Hilton would have the stones to try to rename a neighborhood in New York City.  I heard Barter was tapped by Bullwinkle and Dookie Tooth to rebrand the Castro District of San Francisco.   You know this reminds me a lot of the Ted Carroll Mysteries.  I came into the office early one day, oh this is Andre Ha talking by the way, and I saw Ted Carroll in a nun's habit sitting in a thrown made of antelope skulls presiding over a bare knuckle boxing match between Steven Faulk and Martin Murch.   It was the most curious site.  The fight was to determine who had reached their potential at Hilton first.  The loser would be the one whom Bullwinkle would tell who had reached his potential within the Hilton Corporation in a grand ceremony.  Both men shirtless were glistening.  Oiled up, muscles rippling and bulging, it brought me back to my days as a dancer at the club Neon, in Prague, when I was known as the Raven Mistress of Desire.   My show included fire, candle wax, Portuguese sausage, a bed of spikes, and sensory deprivation.  But back to the fight it was a stunning display with both men trading blows, blood, sweat, tears, and seminal fluids were flying.  (The Seminal Fluids belonged to Ted by the way)   As the fighting intensified it scared me and I fled upstairs to the safety of my bear, Dick Barter who interestingly enough was also into work early that day.  When I entered his room I came upon him passed out, pink sweater on, bent over his desk, pants around his ankles with a purple Japanese synthetic silk skin vibrator in his ass.  It was a curious site.  That's when I spied Brandon Brockenmiller and a large man with a white mustache (impeccably groomed mustache it was) doing lines off coke off of the corpse of a naked dismembered Terry Kang, wait, I think it could have been Judy Pine they both have a sexually ambiguous look about them.  That was a tough tough morning.  

Just to put a bow on this story, Murch defeated Faulk in the boxing match.  Murch celebrated by downloading 850MB of music onto the company server.  In defeat Fualk was gracious and scatted for the hand full of Asian boys Ted has locked in his office.  
Per the blood oath signed by Ted Carroll and Bullwinkle, the Faulken had reached his potential and he received a very wet tongue lashing from Bullwinkle.  The terms of the oath called for  Faulken to dress as an Iroquoia Squaw Princess and Bullwinkle to be in his SS uniform.  The two played out their power exchange and then engaged in Macrophilia with members of logistics.  
As for the events in Barter's office, WELL Pamela McHenry was NOT pleased.  She ordered a full investigation and called for Gary Elfving Head of the Hilton Secret Police to use any and all resources available to get to the bottom of this.  FYI, Barter was not dead, he was just unconscious from repeated injections of a horse tranquilizer sold to him by Kerry Mason and the 2nd Floor Jewish Mafia, Mazel Tov!  It is rumored that Gary is going to bring in world renowned CSI and dog lover, Susan Umeda.  Currently she is unavailable as the 53 year old is living with her parents in West LA and has an 8pm curfew.   Per my deep background secret source at Hilton, Javier Farjado, the prime suspects in the Barter Horse Tranquilizer Caper are Jennifer Spino and that luscious, thick, curly, rich mahogany toned hair of hers.  It is rich and smooth and goes down easy and Dave Shattuck, a short bald sad man with a little man complex and a squeaky voice.