HotelChatter

Then, once you've been suitably frightened, it's onto the program--eating better and moving more. You'll be exercising in the outdoors (think horse riding, golf and cycling) and getting daily personal training sessions.

You'll also be drinking thermal water (good for the system, dahling) eating from the calorie-counted Cuisine Équilibrée menu, which promises to make “no culinary concessions in terms of taste or size of portions”. By the sounds of the dishes--pan-fried scallops with saffron, fennel and shiitake mushrooms, for example--they could well be right.

You may not be able to pan fry your scallops with shiitake mushrooms once you get home, but don't panic too much--patients will be presented with their own personal “health dossier” and bespoke diet plans before they're sent away.

You'll pay through the nose for this: the program itself costs €3,360 ($4275) for the six days, and that doesn't include your room--they start at €327 ($416), although you'll get 10 percent off for staying six nights.

Oh, and one more thing: you'll have to start on a Sunday. Start the week with new beginnings and all that.

Now, don't be glum. Just think of how bad you can be later in the fall once you've done the right thing and gotten over the summer. Everyone needs a rejuvenating break once in a while. Just ask your liver.