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The Downside of Fancy In-Room Technology

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  Site Where: 8 Whiteman St. Southbank , Melbourne, VC, Australia, 3006
June 16, 2010 at 11:55 AM | by | Comments (0)

There is a point at which in-room technology goes from being convenient to confusing in a way that makes you feel like you’ve turned into Woody Allen in the movie, "Sleeper." (I.e. you’ve stumbled into the future, totally unequipped to deal with even the most mundane things like turning on a light or wiping your bottom.) We often experience these moments in Asia and Scandinavia, but had one at the Crown Towers Melbourne recently.

The Cisco-designed "smart room" system used in Crown Towers guest rooms doesn't require an advanced degree to master. In fact, the interfaces are touch-screen, both on the plasma television screen and on the high-tech phones. Really, this is Magic Touch for grownups: Push the right pretty picture, and you can order room service, book a flight, get the news in Chinese, or surf the Web.

The "in-built" (as they say in Aussie) entertainment panel is a media all-in-one, offering wireless Internet, 40 different television channels, various video games, and about 10 music channels. Music channels are an awesome perk if you've forgotten your iPod back home, which we had, so we jumped to see what was playing.

Only, sads: The touch screen didn’t work for the music library. There was no scrolling, no selecting, and certainly no sound. Upon 15 minutes of further investigation, we found only one channel that would play: soothing meditational music for naptime.

Guest services couldn’t solve this mystery. Apparently “smart” systems are young and thus still buggy. (Although, according to a colleague who had an adventure with a Control4 touch-screen system at CityCenter Las Vegas, sometimes they work too well. Sometimes you hit the “Good Night” button on a whim and suddenly the curtains close, the lights go out, the lock clicks shut and you’re in a silent black void going, “Hello? Is anybody out there?”)

At any rate. Soothing meditation music for sleepy times was all that we were gettin’, and we tried to be open-minded about it. Thus, a few hours later, we drifted off to Nod with a strange man’s voice intoning over Peruvian flute tones, “Curl the toes…uncurl the toes. Now clench the buttocks. Unclench the buttocks….”

Have a good technology gone bad story to share? Tell us in comments below!

Well, okay then.

[Photo: TripAdvisor]

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