HotelChatter

So we called – but no one answered. Never mind, we thought – it was just before 9am. Perhaps the staff were all serving an organic granola breakfast to the guests? Or maybe they were all taking part in a massive communal yoga sesh?

We called again at 9.30. No reply. 9.45 – no reply. 10am – no reply. So we called the Barn - Chez Gere’s restaurant and asked if we could book through the lady who answered. No we couldn’t, she said – but she would definitely get the Inn folk to call us back rightaway. Because, right now, they must be “showing guests round” the property or something.

Well if they were, it was one humungous show-round. Because they never called us back, and after phoning again, we finally got through to a human. Who told us that the Inn was fully booked for that night. Except, after we asked what dates it was free, she suddenly remembered that, oh, there was actually a room for the night we were asking about after all. The cost? A cool $495. That was when we realised we weren’t really that big fans of the silver fox, after all. We made our excuses and arranged to pop round for a look instead.

But because we still like you, Richy, (not enough to splash $495, but we like you nevertheless), we’ll give you some hotelier advice. If you want to get guests in, you’re going to have to have people picking up the phone. Especially if you’re not taking internet bookings. You only have eight rooms, so it shouldn’t be too difficult. Please? Thanks.