HotelChatter

Even as we set out to the hotel, we wondered whether they’d have "lost" our booking, if they’d be putting us up in a broom cupboard out the back, or if the staff would look down their noses at us. But checking in, we realised they wouldn’t – we were congratulated on our speediness in getting our £1 room, and swiftly despatched to our bed on the second floor.

Room Reaction:
"Compact" is the word we’d use to describe the bedroom. There was a bed, a desk, a cupboard, a chaise longue, and not room for much else. Having said that, it didn’t feel at all cramped – they seem to have maxed out the space pretty well. There’s space either side of the bed, so you don’t feel rammed against the wall, the desk is easily big enough to work on and has lots of drawers to stash things in, and the chaise lounge is good for sprawling on. If we’d had giant suitcases, we might have felt a bit squished – you’d have to pile ‘em up under the window or something – but if you keep the luggage down, there’s really nothing to complain about.

The decor was nice and simple – white walls with a big embossed picture of St Paul’s cathedral on the wallpaper, rather than a picture in a frame. Everything was very clean-looking – the jazziest things were the red bedside lampshades and the "paper, scissor, stone" cushions on the bed. We liked them.

Amenity Madness
Inside the cupboard was a fridge – no minibar, just two bottles of water and a bottle of real milk. Amazing! Fresh milk trumps sachets a million times over, but we can’t remember ever seeing this in a hotel before. Excellent work.

The bathroom was really well laid out – great water pressure in the shower (and two showerheads to choose from), Aveda toiletries and Pear’s soap. The only thing we had to complain about was that they only gave us one set of towels, which seemed a bit mean. Admittedly, we’d booked in alone, but if we’d decided to bring a, erm, friend back, we wouldn’t have wanted to broadcast it to housekeeping. Plus, two lots just feels more generous, you know? Also, we could have done with a bathrobe and some slippers. But then, for £1, we were hardly complaining.

Breakfast is a very handy, rather ingenious affair – you leave a bag outside your room telling them how many people are staying over, and they fill it up in the morning and leave it hanging outside your door. Your bag consists of a banana, a yoghurt and an OJ from Pret a Manger (the Hoxton’s owned by Pret’s co-founder, Sinclair Beecham). Room service without a hefty charge – just what we felt like. Although if you want something heavier, you can hit the Hoxton Grille restaurant downstairs.

Public Spaces
All very swish. There’s a row of computers in the lobby, and chocolate and snacks being sold at cost price at the check-in desk, but the crowning glory is the Hoxton Grille bar and restaurant. It’s very noisy, but very good, and well priced too – cocktails are £8, which, at London prices, should mean they’re rancid; but they’re not at all. We’ve heard good stuff about the restaurant, too.

Corridors are a red-lit, industrial affair, with the doors to the bedrooms set at an angle into the corridor. Might be confusing while drunk.

What We Liked:
For £1? Absolutely everything. But we loved the fresh milk and the breakfast on the door handle – why has nobody else thought of this?

This is also a work-geek’s dream: not only is there free WiFi throughout the hotel, but you get an hour’s worth of free phone calls in your room as well – and not just to local numbers, but to Europe, Australia and the US. That even includes American cell phones. So brilliant that we’re seriously considering hiring a room on "day office" rates – where you get a room (and everything in it) from 10am-4pm for just £19. Bargain.

The whole vibe manages trendy but friendly, prices are fair, and it’s slap bang in the middle of ultra-cool Hoxton so it’s perfect positioning for nightlife – though this means it’s a slight hassle getting into central London.

What We Didn’t Like:
The lack of towels, for a start. Also, the bottom of the kettle was fixed to the desk, which was annoying – other hotels manage not to get theirs nicked without stapling it down, so we didn’t really see the point in that. The bed was a bit hard as well – not that it stopped us sleeping.

What did nearly stop us sleeping, though, was the music floating up from the bar. The hotel is built in a V shape around the terrace, and the double glazing isn’t strong enough to block it out, so being on the second floor was a bit like trying to go to sleep in the lobby. Luckily, we’re serious sleepers, and zoned out by about 1am – but the music was still going as we dropped off. If you sleep light, you’ll need ear plugs.

Bottom Line:
For £1, we can safely say that the Hoxton gave us the best value we’re ever likely to get, what with all its extras. If we weren’t that lucky? Well, room rates operate like a budget airline – they start cheap and get more expensive as they fill up – so you can pay anything from £29 to a maximum of £189. We’d say that this is a bargain up to about £120 – as long as you’re aware you’re in party town, not central London.

And although we’d really want a bigger room for £189, it’s still not a bad price for London. You’ll be hard pressed to find a bed for less than £150 if you want somewhere nice, and you’ll probably be palmed off with a box room anyway. So book it up, and party on.

If you want to try for a £1 room, the next sale is in October. We’ll keep you posted nearer the time - if you fancy challenging us to a round of fastest finger first.