Here it is, under the headline "Not Ready for Primetime":
If you are looking for a luxury property, try the Aqualina in Sunny Isles. The good: Nice pool, nice rooms (more on the cutting edge side), new property, nice location in South Beach, restarant staff tries hard (Isaac was great!). The bad: Much of the staff especially housekeeping cannot speak English (the sign says Do Not Disturb!), the hallways to the rooms are confusing (bring a compass), drinks are overpriced and watered down, meals are expensive but average. The Ugly: Newly trained staff (as in to the hotel industry), Whatever, Whenever Service is A Joke (The Acura's advertised on their website were not even at the property-cost me an extra days auto rental because I found out after we arrived). Management will listen to your complaints but that's about it! They will charge you like nothing happened even though you are not satisfied with your stay!
Bottom line: One of the better hotels in South Beach, only because it is new. Want true luxury and service to boot...They call it Aqualina!
Um, so there's that unless someone from Aqualina wrote this, which is also entirely possible. We'll check back in when we've got more reviews to sort through.