HotelChatter

Jonathan Tisch does not enjoy your antics, Dennis Rodman.

On the men's team was an eclectic collection of C-list stars: Dennis Rodman, Jesse James and Brian McKnight among them. Meanwhile, Joan and Melissa Rivers, Khloe Kardashian and TLC's T-Boz were holding it down on the ladies side.

In a nutshell, here's what transpired: the two teams were given 30-minute rundowns of how to perform the essential job functions in the roomservice, front office and housekeeping departments — they learned how to do hospital corners on the beds! — and then their assignment was to, you know, provide a good experience for the guests in their assigned rooms from check-in to check-out.

The teams were also in charge of the amenities in each room; the women opted to offer complimentary wifi and free breakfast, plus a big amenity at turndown. The men provided goodies from Carnegie Deli as well as two chaffeur-driven Mercedes' to drive their guests around.

The results: Dennis Rodman got drunkers, went a bit bonkers and left during his night shift, the ladies team had some room-cleaning issues, and Joan Rivers performed as a surprisingly decent concierge — save for a couple of errors in which she neglected to tell her guests about enormous charges they weren't expecting. One guest threw an obviously-producer-requested curveball by demanding that male team snag him a reservation at Waverly Inn (which, um, predictably could not be done). Oh, and also: Stephen Baldwin, one of the guests who stayed in a room run by the women's team, got an anti-view he called down to complain about — and Joan Rivers maintained that his crappy view was good because it was "more private." We haven't heard that one before.

In the end (spoiler alert!) Dennis Rodman was fired by The Donald. But that is neither here nor there: the big takeaway is that this celebs-runing-a-hotel thing was all kind of a magnificent disaster — and we want more of this kind of TV, please!