HotelChatter

Put your quibbling hat aside, and you’ll get a two day witchy extravaganza. Day one: an audience with the castle’s resident owl, an afternoon “chamber of witchcraft”, a kids’ dinner in the dungeon and a posh one for adults (though if you plead nicely, they’ll probably let you down there as well), and screenings of the Harry Potter films.

Day two: a treasure hunt, a trip to nearby Inchagoill Island, more Harry Potter screenings and another dungeon/posh dinner combo.

OK so you’ll probably not be into it if you don’t have kids, and it’s pretty pricey too: €475 ($690) per night for two adults and two kids in a queen room (possibly the creepiest part of the package will be cramming the family into a queen bed). It’s valid October 23 through November 2 if you wants it.

If you’re after something a little more adult, check out our other Harry Potter hotels for inspiration. Or for total (if a bit grubby) authenticity, try a stay in a real Oxford college (where half the HP franchise was filmed). University Rooms flogs rooms in 11 colleges – you stay in an actual student room (hence the grubby bit), eat breakfast in the dining halls with the students, and get closer to the dreaming spires than you ever will staying at the posh hotels in town.

Christ Church is where much of the Hogwarts stuff was set; it doesn’t rent rooms to the public (yet), but Queens, Balliol, Trinity, Wadham, Jesus and University College are all v old and v atmospheric. Ghost sightings not guaranteed; but drunk students definitely are. Rooms cost from a bargainous £88 (but don’t stay in Keble where the guy from the Sunday Times did – it’s far out, Victorian and pretty hideous).