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Oiling Up for Valentine's Day at the Renaissance Chancery Court

Where: 252 High Holborn, London, United Kingdom

Awkward fumbling without hitting the spot, unexpected oil slicks...the art of massaging your loved one can be a tricky one to master.

So Londoners will be flocking to the Renaissance Chancery Court Hotel this February, in a bid to spruce up their prodding skills before V-Day comes around. In response to pleas from guests “who have found their partner’s massage strokes to be less than perfect”, the spa is offering a Massage Master Class treatment for couples. At $456 for 1hr 50mins, it’s for serious investors only.

They’ll start you off with a lesson, followed by a DIY session to “ensure that the couple become masterful in massage technique”. Sexy! Then they’ll calm the pair of you down with a professional rubdown, and send you off with some ESPA oils to get cracking at home. All they need now is to knock up some special room rates for those who just can’t wait – otherwise there might be trouble in the relaxation room....