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London's Swissôtel Will Write Down Your Love Story

Where: Temple Place, London, United Kingdom, WC2R 2PR

We were wondering when a Valentine’s offer to trump playing Twister or strip poker with your inamorato would come up, and here it is--London’s Swissôtel The Howard is employing a “professional storyteller” to commit to print the story of how you met your beloved.

You’ll also get a six-course dinner of aphrodisiacs including scallops, chocolate fondue and, um, cucumber. Then you’ll retire to your river-view suite, overlooking the London Eye and the Houses of Parliament, and sink champagne and strawberries with your story.

Let’s just hope that, whatever a “professional storyteller” is, it means he/she can turn “He bought me five shots at Happy Hour” into something beautiful. Especially when the package rolls in at £799 ($1085) for the night.