HotelChatter

Once you break out the smelling salts and wake everyone up, you can explain the extent of the $60,000 all-inclusive Ultimate Birthday Bash package that includes a private dinner at the Inn prepared by Keller and his French Laundry staff on your birthday night. Wait. Break out the smelling salts again. You're friends are still recovering from the price tag.

Once they awake again, let them know a second night of dining at either of Keller's other restaurants, Bouchon or Ad Hoc, located in Yountville is also included, after of course you spend the day in a limo touring around Napa Valley wine tasting.

We really recommend not over indulging in the Keller-prepared "casual lunch" that includes sandwiches, salads, salmon rillettes, foie gras, freshly-baked baguette and brioche breads. Funny, we usually consider a casual lunch to include anything, albeit in our undies, but this sounds fun too.

Think you're going home empty handed? Hardly, Charley! Each couple staying for the experience leaves with six bottles of Poetry Cabernet Sauvignon, the flagship wine produced from Cliff Lede Vineyard; and for the big birthday winner, a bottle of first growth Bordeaux from your birth year.

Now that we're done typing this, the package doesn't strike us so much as a bash, rather than a challenge for your liver and personal potential to ward off gout. But we still want it in our lives so badly.

[Photo of The Poetry Inn: Dora Pirate]