The Hotel Amour just seems too tackily obvious. Any prostitute worth her heels would look right down her pointy nose at it. And the whole Montmartre area, where the Amour's located, is Sex-tat Central. It's the kind of place where a 19-year-old Liverpool lad on a stag weekend would pick up a tart for the night. Any half-famous politician hanging around Montmartre with an unknown daisy would be all over the front pages within an hour.
Here's our advice for secret affairs and naughty couplings in Paris: the Hotel Danemark.
The Danemark's location is perfect - on a discreet side street off Montparnasse. Montparnasse is Paris's second red-light area after Montmartre, filled with x-rated shops, erotic theatres, peep-shows and oriental restaurants, but close enough to the highly respectable St Germain district and Luxembourg Gardens not to be so blindingly, dirtily obvious. It's also the location of one of Paris's main railway stations, so a guy can always pretend he's just on his way to catch the train.
It's a small hotel and staff seem friendly and discreet. Lounge is in a vaulted underground cellar so you can even have a glass of whisky while you wait without fearing peeping toms peering through the window. Rooms are small but quietly stylish - soft lighting, mini-bars and the like, apparently some with oil paintings of naked women to get you going. Bathrooms big and cleanly tiled - ask for one with a jacuzzi tub if you like to get soapy.
No, you can't rent rooms by the hour - this is a respectable hotel in reality - but compared to the price of an Emperors Club VIP girl your credit card won't even feel it: €168 ($260) a night or a special offer €120 ($185) if the mood takes you in summer.
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femmefatale
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