1. The Gray Hotel, Milan: Floating Stairs Room
Uh, can you get up and down those floating stairs sober? We can envision a lovely night sitting at the bar there, sipping scotch and having a grand ol' time and then arriving at the decision to ascend those stairs, and then arriving at the ER shortly thereafter. Also, we're pretty sure we would try to stick our bodies through the spaces in the stairs to make us feel like we were flying. And we would get stuck.
2. Ivy Hotel, San Diego: Star Suite
Not only is there a stripper pole in the middle of this room (dear lord, our inhibitions tend to leave us pretty quickly when margaritas go down the hatch), but it sits atop a sharp-edged platform that we can already see ourselves hitting our shins on. Couple that with gigantic bunk beds that involve a ladder apparatus and also that gigantic vase with the big huge sticks, and you've got a recipe for a drunken disaster.
3. Mama Shelter, Paris
We can see how a little tequila might make you think that sitting in this see-through chair totally naked and letting your friend take photos of you might seem like a really, really funny idea at the time. Trust us: it's not.
4. Anglers Boutique Resort, Miami: Pool Suite Villa
Look at these stairs. Just look at them. This is how people break their faces. If you end up drinking while you stay here, keep the party on the first floor and just pass out on the couch. Don't worry, there's a full bath down there too.
5. The LAVA Hotel Room of the Future
We know we're piling heaping spoonfuls of hate onto this LAVA Hotel Room of the Future lately, but the white-ness of this room is just too much. Puke here and you're going to be paying some vom-inducing cleaning fees. Forget about red wine, too. And in the morning? Oh, God, that bright white assault on your eyeballs will have you paralyzed with searing pain and a headache that burns like hell's fire.
Know of any other hotel rooms we should avoid when we go on an all-night binge drinking adventures? Put your suggestions in comments below.
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