The Five Worst Hotel Rooms For Drunk People

by Jenna | November 20, 2008 at 9:36 AM | 2 Comments

You know the scene: you had an epic evening out with your people, you stumbled back to your hotel room drunk ... and some kind of booze-soaked tragedy occurred. It's happened to us — and while you may not remember it so clearly, we'd be willing to bet it's happened to you, too.

While many of us are pro-style at getting around our bedrooms after martini number five, hotel rooms are a totally different, unfamiliar beast — and navigating unfamiliar terrain can be especially dangerous when you're a boozey mess.

To make things just a little bit easier on you and your soon-to-be-tanked self, we've compiled a list of the Five Worst Hotel Rooms for Drunk People that will hopefully help minimize the potential for humiliation and/or trips to the ER. Trust us: avoid booking these rooms if you plan on binge-drinking.

1. The Gray Hotel, Milan: Floating Stairs Room
Uh, can you get up and down those floating stairs sober? We can envision a lovely night sitting at the bar there, sipping scotch and having a grand ol' time — and then arriving at the decision to ascend those stairs, and then arriving at the ER shortly thereafter. Also, we're pretty sure we would try to stick our bodies through the spaces in the stairs to make us feel like we were flying. And we would get stuck.

2. Ivy Hotel, San Diego: Star Suite
Not only is there a stripper pole in the middle of this room (dear lord, our inhibitions tend to leave us pretty quickly when margaritas go down the hatch), but it sits atop a sharp-edged platform that we can already see ourselves hitting our shins on. Couple that with gigantic bunk beds that involve a ladder apparatus and also that gigantic vase with the big huge sticks, and you've got a recipe for a drunken disaster.

3. Mama Shelter, Paris
We can see how a little tequila might make you think that sitting in this see-through chair totally naked and letting your friend take photos of you might seem like a really, really funny idea at the time. Trust us: it's not.

4. Anglers Boutique Resort, Miami: Pool Suite Villa
Look at these stairs. Just look at them. This is how people break their faces. If you end up drinking while you stay here, keep the party on the first floor and just pass out on the couch. Don't worry, there's a full bath down there too.

5. The LAVA Hotel Room of the Future
We know we're piling heaping spoonfuls of hate onto this LAVA Hotel Room of the Future lately, but the white-ness of this room is just too much. Puke here and you're going to be paying some vom-inducing cleaning fees. Forget about red wine, too. And in the morning? Oh, God, that bright white assault on your eyeballs will have you paralyzed with searing pain and a headache that burns like hell's fire.

Know of any other hotel rooms we should avoid when we go on an all-night binge drinking adventures? Put your suggestions in comments below.

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egw
HotelChatter Member
November 20, 2008 at 9:44 AM

Oh Jenna
speedy recovery!

juliana
HotelChatter
November 20, 2008 at 9:48 AM

Hotel Omm and Gramercy Park Hotel
The Hotel Omm in Barcelona is seriously one of my favorite hotels but the toilet was on the opposite side of the room from the sink and shower. So I woke up in the middle of the night and stumbled to the left side of the room only to find it was the sink and shower. Then I had to make my way back to the other side to the toilet. However, the hotel has amazing blackout shades. So if you are ever hungover, this is the place to be.

Also Gramercy Park Hotel has a haunted vibe. I slept with the lights on and I was sober that night so you might freak out. And if you go to the bathroom, those lightbulb clusters will give you an instant migraine.

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