Punta del Este city, as distinct from the smaller resorts to the east that we'll start covering tomorrow, is, officially, not-as-fashionable-as-it-used-to-be -- or at least not as exclusive. Rita Hayworth, Yul Brynner, Marcelo Mastroianni hung out here in the 1950s, in the days when cigarettes were healthy and the word paparazzi unpronounceable to non-Italians. Now it attracts dull, healthy A-listers like Naomi Campbell, Gisele Bundchen, and Argentina's Alan Faena.

The latter eulogized Punta to the New York Times thusly: 'It's a special place with kilometers and kilometers of beach and a really interesting mix of people, from New York socialites to Brazilian models to musicians.' That's an 'interesting' mix in the same way that Somalia is an 'interesting' country.

But let's not get nostalgic. You'll meet plenty of cool, interesting people in Punta, and, so long as you take normal precautions, you won't bump into any world-famous mediocrities. Here's the hotel rundown, in no particular order.

Conrad Resort and Casino

'Why settle for the world when you can have the universe at your feet?' asks the Conrad on its homepage. And by 'universe' they don't mean any old rubbish -- they mean hot shows, cold buffets, live boxing, and, after the kids are tucked up, the Conrad Dolls in the casino's 'Hot Pit', shaking their booty while you lose yours. This being Punta, though, the Conrad also puts on literary workshops and stuff like that. To a Vegas hotel what an Elvis impersonator is to Elvis.

[Photo: Mih]

La Capilla

'The Chapel' has attracted a number of celebrity worshippers over the years, among them Ion Tiriac, Pelé, and Jorge Luis Borges. Open year round (prices triple over Christmas and New Year), this is one of Punta's more relaxed lodgings and is just a five-minute dash from the beach. Downsides: The food isn't great, and, when it comes to room-size, 'standard' means 'small'.

Hotel Serena

The only hotel that backs directly onto Mansa beach, the Serena is, well, serene. The white-and-charcoal design scheme is unoriginal but well executed; the pool area, with its canopied loungers and efficient bar service, is the stand-out amenity.

Hotel Las Cumbres

If you don't have to be within spitting distance of the beach (four kilometers away), and you don't mind dropping 300 bucks a night on a room, this is the place to be. Beautifully designed and realized, with top-class amenities and services, Las Cumbres is the kind of place where even a rattlesnake could unwind. One of the best hotels in Uruguay.

Aldilá

Every hotel around here promises 'great sea views' -- Aldilá actually delivers. The 14 rooms offer the knock-out combo of antique furnishings and fast Wi-Fi. The spa has a hydro massage shower, to get those last flecks of sand out from between your toes.

[Top Photo: Rtietz]

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An Introduction to the Punta del Este Hotel Scene