Where to stay when you leave.
Welcome to the Parker :: Season Premiere
7/27/2007 at 1:33 PM
Tags: Welcome to the Parker

[Ed. Note: Here to review the first episode of Welcome to the Parker is our very own Jenna, who is currently enrolled in the School of Hotel Administration at Cornell University. Enjoy.]
Welcome to the Parker about the Parker Palm Springs Hotel debuted last night and we were parked squarely on our couches ready to love it.
But after two rounds of watching the first episode of Bravo's newest reality show, an "uncensored" look at what goes on behind the scenes at the five-star hotel, well... we're not sure what we think. The review we promised after the jump.
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THE STAFF
First on the show we meet Andrea, the Senior Sales Manager, a gorgeous bitchy brunette who will tell you at least 200 times that she has been in hospitality since she graduated college and is super awesome at her job.
Did she mention she went to college? Critiquing her outfits and following her around is the Director of Catering Sales, Michael, who seems to be your standard over-the-top reality TV gay character; he's shown crying in the promos and seems really wound up all the time. Nothing new.
In charge of everyone is the big scary GM, Samir. During the hour-long episode, we saw Samir say or do absolutely nothing of substance.
He talked a lot about how many important people stay at his hotel and how he walks around the property to check on things all day. He tells the staff several times that they need to take things up to the "next level," with hand gestures and everything.
What is the next level? We don't know. The staff doesn't seem to know either. Also, our favorite managerial technique ever, brought to you by Samir: printing the word "obsession" on a piece of paper and waving it around for a little while, never really explaining it. Yes.
THE GUESTS
This particular episode covered the arrival of two important guests: a "food critic" named Leslie McElroy (Google her-- we tried and nothing came up) and a group of rowdy drunken middle-aged men creatively cast as Pong Springs ping-pong players.
Good ol' GM Samir was reluctant to let these Pong guys stay in the ultra-exclusive Gene Autry house on property (not just anyone can stay there; he'll tell you), but since they appeared to have the money---or Bravo appeared to---he allowed them to crash for a night. Real drama ensued when the guys trashed the crap out of the room and ordered, to the shock of the gorgeous staff, a whole bunch of bacon burgers at a really late hour (how Michael Jackson of them).
THE FOOD CRITIC
The food critic was kind of fun, though. She arrived and announced herself to everyone as the food critic, telling us she'd just come from French Laundry in Napa and expected some exquisite things from the Parker. We were unaware food critics a) were so open about their identities or b) went to French Laundry to critique the food.
She and her sister-in-law ordered almost everything on every menu in the place; instead of tasting teeny portions of the food, they scarfed most of it down. Her dresses were cute, though, and we're pretty sure that since we've never seen or heard of anything this woman has written, she is probably someone at Bravo's aunt or sister that had been cast for the show.
Real food critics don't sit down in the lobby with the GM and explain what was wrong with their experience, do they? Um, by the way, did we just see a hot dog served inside a yellow Slinky?
THE 'CAST'
It makes us kind of sad that the show is so contrived (especially since, by the end of the show, it was apparent that some of these people were cast) and we took a look at some of the blogs over on the Bravo website and one of the room service guys sorta just admits that this is the case.
The loveable slacker character on the show, Nathan, mentions:
This first episode, if you could imagine, was a lot like the first week of school. There are definitely a lot of new faces, mine included, that have just appeared on the Parker landscape.
Yeah, no, we can't really imagine arriving at work one day and finding there have been actors hired to do our jobs. Can you?
THE BOTTOM LINE
All in all, the show is definitely super reality-fied. In any case, although we're not happy Bravo picked hospitality as a topic for a reality show only after fashion design, interior design, gym ownership, cooking, two hair-styling and two real estate shows, we're happy that they finally gave hotels some love at all.
Also, we confess: we were entertained and not bored, but we're big hotel geeks. The property is gorgeous and we like looking at it, despite the golf/tennis court-y look of the landscaping throughout.
The fact that the staff seemed to ignore guests that weren't food critics or VIP's in the Gene Autry house made us raise our eyebrows a bit, but it may have just been editing.
We'll be tuning in next week to see for sure.
So, what did you think? Let us know in the comments.
Related Stories:
· 'Welcome to the Parker' Premieres Tonight; First Review Calls it a Snoozefest [HotelChatter]
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