What the guidebooks say about Tierra del Fuego and Ushuaia: romantic, quaintly chaotic frontier town, populated by the descendants of hard-bitten pioneers; sublime and diverse landscapes on all fronts - glaciers, marshlands, hidden lakes, the Beagle Channel; the best fish suppers in Argentina.

What we say: all of the above, plus: very wet and windy most of the time; hard to locate descendants of hard-bitten pioneers since majority of current population are employees of large companies lured here by tax breaks; sublime and diverse landscapes hard to reach except on expensive, though generally good, organized excursions; best not to stay longer than a couple of nights except in the event of a full-scale thermonuclear war or getting yourself on Interpol's Most Wanted list -- in either of these cases it's a good place to hunker/bunker down.

For a pleasant weekend stay or a decade-long self-imposed exile, try one or more of the following:

Tierra de Leyendas

"An ideal spot for falling in love with the mysterious beauty of the Beagle Channel" says the website of this stylish five-room B&B, and we tend to agree. Their top room, the Yamana suite, may represent one of the best lodging deals in the country. For 100 dollars you get a peerless view of the Channel, a kingsize bed, a Jacuzzi for two and a Scottish shower. The other rooms either have views of the Channel or of the mountains. Owners María and Sebastián are rightly proud of what they've achieved here. Book early, the secret is out.

Los Cauquenes Resort & Spa

Ushuaia's (actually a few clicks out of town -- a good thing) best-known luxury lodging, though you have to be slightly wary of a 'five-star' hotel which lists ping-pong among its top indoor activities. It's a big, slightly impersonal and corporate-style complex, but the facilities, rooms and excursion options are impressive. The interior is a warm and welcoming medley of stone and wood and the spa lives up to its billing. The restaurant is excellent too, specializing in locally netted seafood (don't miss the king crab, the best fish dish you'll have in Argentina).

Hotel del Glaciar

[Photo: anelim]

Another corporate monster, which boasts of its numerous 'ballroms', the Hotel del Glaciar offers great views across the bay in one direction and towards the Glaciar Martial in the other. It offers special skiing packages, so worth looking at if you're planning to come in winter. Excellent Sunday brunch in the restaurant.

Cumbres del Martial

A homier, more charming option for glacier excursions and winter sports thn the Hotel del Glacier, Cumbres was nominated for 'Best Argentine Ski Resort' in the 2006 World Travel Awards. It's an Alpine-style mountain lodge with stone fireplaces and gleaming wood floorboards. Don't expect wild après-ski action, you're not in Chamonix now.

Hotel Las Yamanas

[Photo: enric]

Adhering to the modern Patagonian custom of naming luxury hotels after vanquished indigenous tribes ("Their spirits remains latent in each of the paths, in each of forests, in each of the fields crossed by rivers and hills," gushes the website, a sentiment which must be of great comfort to the few remaining descendants of the Yamanas), this is a superb woodland complex, with big rooms, big views and extensive grounds. Recommended.

Hotel Tolkeyen

Four kilometres out of town en route to the Tierra del Fuego National Park (full of non-indigenous beavers stupidly imported from Canada that are now devouring large swaths of the forests), this is another woodland lodge. Its 34 rooms are more spartan than those of Hotel Las Yamanas but represent better value for money. The quintessential rustic retreat.