HotelChatter

Fast reverse up memory lane to modern Buenos Aires. The youth hostel sector here has expanded with frightening speed since the 2002 currency devaluation, for obvious reasons. Quality has marched in step with quantity. The average hostel owner is more likely to be a slick hipster halfway through an MBA than a Deadhead in beige socks and Jesus sandals. He or she will offer you themed rooms, well-equipped communal areas, fat roof terraces with barbecues, sweaty parties in the basement bar, Wi-Fi, a DVD library, a decent breakfast, and the tacit promise that you're going to find it very difficult not to get laid. The net on the ping-pong table is restrung every month.

The kind of 'youths' you see in BA youth hostels are just like the ones you see everywhere else: stunning Scandinavian couples who don't say much; garrulous Israelis straight out of military service; orthodontically-challenged but friendly Brits: the cheeky Irish guy that everyone loves; the geeky German who's always losing his stuff; baseball-becapped Americans who pimproll round the city in packs, desperately trying to find a sports bar. All the world's a dormitory.

So here's a challenge for you. Seven nights in BA, seven hostels. A hostel crawl. You'd have to be crazy to try it, of course - but if you've read thus far through this drivel, you'll probably try just about anything.

You start on Wednesday. For no particular reason.

Wednesday

El Cachafaz

You've spend 14 hours on a plane, you've had an argument at customs, you've had a sweaty hour-long bus ride into town, your backpack is weighing on you like a guilty conscience: you need a nice quiet downtown pad in which to crash. El Cachafaz fits the bill. It's quiet, sophisticated, clean and friendly, and the living room, with its antique furnishings, kicks the crap out of most of the city's upscale boutiques.

El_Cachafaz Hostel, Buenos Aires

Thursday

Kilca

The blurb on the website sounds horribly like the premise for a Twilight Zone episode: 'Congratulations, you've just entered a unique environment where time seems to stand still.' Rest easy, this is just glurge: Kilca isn't moving at close to the speed of light; Newtonian physics apply, the five rooms open out onto nice patios, there's Wi-Fi, etc., and its close to the Microcentro. A good place to return to afer your first day's sightseeing.

Friday

Ostinatto

You've exhausted everything there is to do in the center and want to start hitting bars and meeting members of the opposite sex. Head south to San Telmo and dump your pack at Ostinatto, a 'designer hostel' which almost lives up to its hype. It's got a mini cinema, a rooftop barbecue, a bar and an art gallery. The website promises a Japanese translation which, inevitably, doesn't work. Hit the scruffy, raucous bars in San Telmo and stuff your face full of steak in a cheap parrilla.

Saturday

Chill House

It's Saturday night, the feeling's right, you want to blow half your remaining budget on a night out in Palermo Viejo, BA's hippest and most hyped barrio. For this mission you need a crashpad where the owners actually encourage their guests to return at six in the morning swaying violently and telling everyone within sight that they're their 'best friend ever'. That place is Chill House.

Sunday

Casa Jardín

Ouch! You need a calorific brunch and a stiff Bloody Mary. You can get an excellent version of both at Home Hotel, though you won't be able to afford to stay there. Instead try Casa Jardín, a civilized, verging on pretentious, hostel/guesthouse, with its well-stocked library, beautiful terrace and constant flow of 'interesting' (i.e. jobless) people. Ideal for nursing a hangover while pretending to read Borges.

Monday

Casa Unica

Trendier-than-thou Palermo Viejo is already starting to get on your tits; you want to explore the 'real Buenos Aires' as your guidebook quaintly puts it. There's no barrio more 'real' than Abasto, one of the true incubators of tango (lazy hacks always write that the dance was born in San Telmo, which is total bullcrap) and a genuinely atmospheric barrio with a bohemian edge. Casa Unica is owned by a pair of effusive and highly efficient lasses, it has a lovely central patio, and the furnishings look like they were designed by an acid casualty. Cute and kitsch.

Tuesday

Milhouse

Ok, enough 'authenticity'. You want to spend your final night in the kind of hip and hopping hostel that exists all over the world, a place where people prefer to stay in and party rather than go out and risk getting mugged. Milhouse is currently BA's liveliest dorm joint, always full and always buzzing. Last and best chance to get drunk/high/laid in BA.

Tags: Buenos Aires Hotel Reviews / Buenos Aires Hotel Guide / Buenos Aires Budget Hotels / Matt Chesterton

by MattyC