HotelChatter

Doing Nothing
Here's what this Ritz here does best: doing much of nothing, well; and tennis. By nothing I mean the slow, island pace. And the spa, up to its usual luxury tricks: they do something called a 42-movement massage, a long light-touch many-influenced treatment that works wonders. The facilities are excellent, with almost two dozen treatment rooms and a separate gentlemen's spa with steam room, sauna, whirlpool, and showers.

Impressive Lobby
The lobby is full-scale grand with a display of pink roses that numbers in the hundreds. I was told there were 500 roses, but that just makes me want to count them. I got 164. Either way, it's an impressive bouquet, and indicative of the grand gestures afforded to guests.

Club-level rooms offer five culinary settings a day. I found this a great distraction as I was unable to leave the hotel on the first day, eager to see what would come next. The dessert chef here, who's name, no kidding, is Monet - well, he's very very good.

The Tennis Scene
Skip this paragraph if you don't care about tennis. The tennis center here is the largest and most complete tennis center of any Ritz-Carlton resort, with 10 clay courts and one hard court, all which are lit at night. The resident pro is Cliff Drysdale, the ESPN commentator and one-time US Open doubles champion. You're going to be happy here if you like tennis very much, and enjoyed this paragraph.

Libraries and Alcohol
I would like to make a general comment to luxury hotel operators everywhere. I am on to you. Whenever you call a room The Library I get very excited because I expect to find a library. Containing books. Instead I find only bottles of rum, or whiskey, or scotch. I would like to read more books than consume bottles of alcohol, which seems reasonable, but I cannot. And why? Conspiracy; at the very least I am ambushed again and again. (I know of two actual libraries in great hotels: Cambridge Beaches in Bermuda, and the Woodstock Inn in Vermont. If anyone knows of any others, please email me.)

On Key Biscayne
Contrary to everything I heard from tourist books and brochures, I didn't find Key Biscayne to be an island paradise. It's actually an acquired taste. The beaches are gray sand, and tall condos make it feel less of an island. And yet I began on the second day to get a sense of the place as I left the club level lounge and realized that Key Biscayne has many charms; it's merely been oversold as a paradise. Billy Baggs Cape Florida park at the southern end is a wonderful place to ride bikes, and has a magnificent lighthouse, the oldest structure in south Florida, actually. And it's lined with marinas and boating opportunities.

On Virginia Key is the famous Seaquarium, where you can swim with dolphins, which sounds very sweet, and has to be the most expensive way ever invented to give close-lipped kissed. There's a magical find on Virginia Key that you should Google, it's called Jimbo's. After a trip there, it's good to go back to the Ritz, and vice-versa.

The Nightime in the Right Time
At night the tiki torches go up, and the resort begins to loosen up. A gas fire pit at the beachside Cantina Beach restaurant goes on, atmosphere is added by the big lighted pools, and it feel like the Caribbean.

Knowing all this it's clear that the Ritz is a grand stay for a slow-paced stay; a vacation if you will. Service is on the highest order, and there are Bulgari toiletries in your bath. Who needs Versace?

What's Next
A visit to the Andre Balazs hotel, The Standard.