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Ritz on the Cheap

Go To The Hotel's Web Site Where: 921 Canal St. [map], New Orleans, LA, United States, 70112
March 17, 2005 at 8:16 AM | by dzot | 0 Comments

[Editor's Note: How appropriate. On St. Patrick's day Hotel Maven dzot reports on getting a lucky upgrade down in the Crescent City. Enjoy.]

When I asked the cabbie to take me to the Iberville Suites in the French Quarter he expressed confusion. Not with the location, but with the concept. Iberville Suites is located inside the Ritz-Carlton New Orleans. It is operated by the Ritz-Carlton. You can use all the facilities at the Ritz-Carlton. You can visit the bars or restaurant at the Ritz and charge it to your room. And yet, the rate at Iberville is typically half that of the Ritz (rack rate, anyway). My cabbie could not comprehend how such an economic imbalance could exist. (Of course, he didn't put it that way; he spoke exclusively in Nawlins English, which takes a minute to understand until you learn to disregard the "Itehyouwha" or "fatullyspeakin" at the beginning and end of each sentence.) It made no sense to me either, but never let it be said I passed up an opportunity for a good deal on luxury digs, so I planned to spend a couple of nights in the Iberville Suites to find out if it was actually Ritz on the cheap.

I can report that the lobby is very nice, but that's about it. When I arrived to check in and gave the desk clerk my name his brow furrowed and he adopted a dire countenance. "Damn," I thought. "They don't have my reservation. I'm going to be out on Bourbon Street begging some sleazy bead-waiver for a place to crash." I instinctively reached into my bag for my confirmation number, but he just looked up at me and said, "Well sir, it looks like you have been given a complimentary upgrade to the Ritz-Carlton."

Golly. I guess that will have to suffice.

Surprise Ritz Continues After The Break

For the record, despite what you may hear from scurrilous and unscrupulous rumormongers, I did not leap up on the bed and do a happy dance while chanting, "I'm at the Riiitz, I'm at the Riiitz." Nor did I come home after an evening on Bourbon Street and use my courtyard view to offer beads to he gentrified ladies sipping Sauvignon Blanc below my window if they would expose themselves. It was late, there was no one in the courtyard.

Actually, I can't think of a greater contrast in atmosphere than that between the Ritz-Carlton and the French Quarter madness just outside. For the sake of that isolation, getting to the lobby of the Ritz requires passing a uniformed doorman or two then locating an elevator to ride to the third floor. Your standard-issue Hurricane-snarfer in a green afro wig just won't go to the effort. Once in the lobby you are rewarded with quiet and sanity -- the main lobby lounge is the perfect place for a relaxed drink with friends to plan your evening's debauchery. The aforementioned courtyard is where the gentlefolk sit and sip tea in their stylish business casuals during nice weather. Then there is the Library Lounge, which is decorated to look like Thurston Howell III's den; put on your red velvet smoking jacket and you'll match the décor.

The fitness center is top notch as far as hotel fitness centers go. There is a very small indoor pool, but it has one of those devices that push a powerful jet of water from one side that offers enough resistance for you to essentially swim laps while staying in place. Clever.

I love Ritz-Carltons. I love the elegant dark woods and plush floral prints. I love the soft, fluffy beds. I love the little triplet serving bowls full of bar snacks you get in the lounge. I love the turn-down service -- two chocolates: one dark, one milk -- served in a little tray on your bed, along with the TV remote. I love that, while you won't get scolded, if you wander around in sweats and a tank top, you would have to be a complete barbarian not to feel out of place. I love that the waitress in the lounge remembered my standard drink order after only one visit. I love that when I went out for dinner leaving my jeans draped across the back of a chair, housekeeping took the time to hang them up before I returned. I love that they don't have little signs in the bathroom that implore me to save energy by re-using my damp towels.

I'm a hotel snob. So sue me.

I cannot tell you whether the Iberville Suites is Ritz on the cheap. I can state with unequivocal certainty that the Ritz-Carlton for the rate of the Iberville Suites very much is.