HotelChatter

The first thing you notice is the big red bus. I have no idea how old this vehicle is, but according to the concierge, everybody gets a big kick about being shuttled about Hana and points nearby in the ancient behemoth. I would just hope the driver had a walkie-talkie to call for help when the thing broke down.

The hotel is nicely done. The styling is a standard resort/traditional Hawaiian/Zen garden combination. Clearly, it has been professionally Feng Shui-ed. It is all very peaceful and open. There is a dedicated spa building; in fact, the whole feel of the place is as if it were a destination spa rather than a more straightforward hotel. The rooms are spread out over the exquisitely manicured grounds in little casitas. All the employees have that bland, low-key, Stepford Wife smile that seems to say "I'm in my happy place; how can I help you into yours?"

The restaurant is equally low-key and hushed. It is certainly the only place in Hana that approaches fine dining. The food is tasty and creative to a certain extent, but not stellar. They make a bit of fuss in their literature about dress code, but I think that basically amounts to a shirt with a collar and no flip-flops. The associated open air lounge is a fine place to enjoy a quiet evening. Interestingly, Hotel Hana-Maui also runs the nearby Hana Ranch Restaurant, on which opinion varies from mediocre to deplorable.

Hotel Hana is not on the beach. I would guess the beach in Hana is about a quarter-mile distant -- a very nice walk. Better still, Hotel Hana-Maui maintains facilities at Hamoa Beach, which is famous for being praised by author James Michener (and Michener was no slouch regarding beaches). What he actually said is less clear.  So far I've found: "The most perfect beach in the world." "The most perfect crescent beach in the Pacific." "A beach so perfectly formed I wonder at its comparative obscurity." "The only beach I have ever seen looks like the South Pacific was in the North Pacific." And that's just the first page of Google hits. Whatever the exact quote, I can testify to his good taste in beaches. A Hotel Hana-Maui guest gets all that, plus a lounge chair, umbrella and other beach accoutrements. And since it's not walking distance, presumably you can catch a ride there is the big red bus.

For the salt-water phobic, there's an inviting looking pool, and if you look closely at the picture, you'll see that there is a croquet lawn next to it. That makes me smile. &If I ever stay at Hotel Hana-Maui, I am going to bring a pair of white oxford shoes, poplin pants, a straw boat hat, and a girl named Muffy, and spend an afternoon on the dashing about on the croquet green pretending I'm the Bertie Wooster of the Pacific. Do you suppose Kate Moss and friends would take a break for some croquet?

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