During the "off season", it will run you $139 for the most inexpensive room on their rate sheet (the summer months are known as the off season in South Florida- temperatures are in the 90's, 24 hours a day, and the relative humidity is somewhere at 456%). But if you walk in there with a functioning credit card, and a few rooms are vacant, the lady at the front desk said she's able to cut last second deals and $100 room isn't out of the question.

She wouldn't even make eye contact with me when I read her my laundry list of D-list celebrities. She just stared at her computer and kept on repeating in a monotone voice, "No, no, no, no, and no." But she did say that Janet Jackson has stayed there before but made sure I understood Janet, or Ms. Jackson if you're nasty, wasn't currently a guest. Which makes sense because the Super Bowl is right around the corner and I'm sure the authorities have her on lockdown.

I thought for sure I was going to get my head bitten off with the lost and found question but she actually gave me a two-minute soliloquy on their policy with items left behind in a room. I would spell it out for you, but I wasn't paying attention.