HotelChatter

1. Silky toilet paper doesn't need much explaining. Most of the time in hotels, you're forced to unnecessarily exfoliate where the sun doesn't shine but the good people at this DoubleTree provide you with toilet paper fit for a king.

2. Young women in bikinis. And you know what they say - once you've seen one hot chick in a bikini, you want to see them all. The pool deck and the beach right in front are swarming with skimpy two pieces.

3. Location, location, location.  And location. Yes it's true, the carpet in your hotel room wasn't recently laid (unfortunately the same goes for me) but you'll be in spitting distance from the ocean in the middle of one of the biggest party towns in the country. They don't call it Fort Liquordale for nothing.

4. Although she threatened to kill me if I took her picture, Lisa is the best bartender on the planet and you'll find her serving drinks at the pool bar.  There's no other bartender who can dazzle and control a crowd with such precision.  Her bar closes at 10:00pm but you can continue drinking at Pusser's (no, I'm not making that up) downstairs or Bierbrunnen, the German bar, right next door. Bierbrunnen has the most interesting variety of beers on the beach and as we all know, "wiener schnitzel" is just funny to hear people say.

5. It's 4:00am - you stumble into the lobby drunk as a skunk. The person at the front desk hands you a fresh out of the oven, giant chocolate chip cookie. You can't beat that.