Sit down. Please. Unfortunately, what we're about to tell you does not appear to be a joke.

Various sources are reporting on this dark, dark day that Pamela Anderson -- yes, She of the Giant Breasts and PETA Ads -- is venturing into the international hotel business to build an eco-friendly hotel in Abu Dhabi.

Friends, there are times when the jokes just write themselves. This is not one of those times because this is like, not even funny. ]]> Jenna 2008-08-01T08:58:12-05:00 http://www.hotelchatter.com/story/2008/7/23/125737/243

The notoriously over-the-top, ridiculously lavish Emirates Palace Hotel in Abu Dhabi is offering a million-dollar hotel package. No, but seriously. This thing costs $1,025,000 for two people for seven days.

For that much, you would expect someone to follow you into your hotel suite's bathroom to wipe your butt with cashmere -- and, frankly, you can probably request it.

Here's what you get: a 680 square-meter three-bedroom suite lined with gold and marble, complete with crystal chandeliers, a giant plasma TV and laptops.

And oh yes, there's more.]]> Jenna 2008-07-23T13:00:25-05:00 http://www.hotelchatter.com/story/2008/6/3/93712/10004 <![CDATA[<img src="http://www.hotelchatter.com/files/3873/WiFi_By_The_Pool.jpg" class="imgborder"><p> <p>We're all for hotels that take good care of their WiFi service and that's why we're giving the thumbs up right now to the <a href="http://www.hotelchatter.com/hotel-reviews/Emirates+Palace/local/282"><b>Emirates Palace</b></a> in Abu Dhabi.</p><p>They've just upgraded their internet service in a big way, so they've now got an Ethernet-based, dual 10MB load balanced links system, and their wireless coverage has been extended too. This means that we should be able to get a fast connection no matter where we are in the resort, in guest rooms or in public areas, and even by the pool or on the beach.</p><p>Emirates Palace staff said that there'd been "extraordinarily high demand" from guests to have an improved WiFi service, a fact that we already amandak 2008-06-04T09:15:01-05:00 http://www.hotelchatter.com/story/2007/2/21/11640/6501 <![CDATA[<p> <img src="http://www.hotelchatter.com/files/3/emirates_palace_lobby_photo.jpg" class="imgborder"> <p> This week in the UK Guardian a reviewer really took exception to the <a href="http://www.hotelchatter.com/hotel-reviews/Emirates+Palace/local/282"><b>Emirates Palace Hotel</b></a> in Abu Dhabi, titling the review "The Ultimate Bad Taste Hotel". Why? One problem was perhaps the overshowy use of various expensive metals ... including</p><blockquote><p> a sprinkling of gold on everything that doesn't move, from ceilings to chocolate cake. Throw in a liberal amount of silver and there's a precious metal clash that bounces off the acres of polished marble and crystal-studded door handles and heads into the dark recess of the soul.</blockquote></p><p>Ooh, when we hear that the dark recess of the soul is reacting badly to a hotel, we can't imagine it's a good thing. However the amandak 2007-02-21T11:41:17-05:00 Search HotelChatter string http://www.hotelchatter.com/search/