Pembroke Pines Travel Guide

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Judge Smails hasn't stayed at the Grand Palms

Go To The Hotel's Web 
  Site Where: 110 Grand Palms Drive [map], Pembroke Pines, fl, United States, 33027
January 6, 2006 at 11:06 AM | by | Comments (0)

[Editor's Note: Gabe is back. This time he got pulled into the Reservations office at the Grand Palms Hotel - Spa & Golf Resort like a misbehaving 7th-grader who flooded the girls bathroom. Or like Spalding from Caddyshack. Enjoy.]

My parents recently called and asked me to find a hotel near my grandma's gated retirement community in Pembroke Pines.  

They're welcomed to stay with my grandma for the duration of their South Floridian holiday but they'd rather not.  "We don't want to be intrusive," is what they say but I know the truth.  My dad just doesn't want to be asphyxiated by the encompassing reek of mothballs for two weeks.  

My parents are from Brooklyn so of course they don't play golf, but the Grand Palms Hotel provides lush lodging and is located only five minutes west of all the old people and the plastic on their furniture.

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